


Only You

by taeroj



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: 2na are sisters, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, F/F, Mihyun are exes, Mina has amnesia, Substance Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:27:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 42,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23100943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taeroj/pseuds/taeroj
Summary: After an accident placed Myoui Mina in a coma for twelve months, Kim Dahyun is the only thing she can remember. Unfortunately for her, she is the only thing Dahyun wants to forget.
Relationships: Hirai Momo/Minatozaki Sana, Kim Dahyun/Myoui Mina
Comments: 8
Kudos: 85





	1. Chapter 1

_I'll have a Blue Christmas without you_

The soft melody of a song Mina didn't know was what woke her up. Slowly, heavy eyes started go flutter open, trying to take in her blurry surroundings. A mask covered her nose and mouth, fogging up as she took deep breaths. Her throat felt raw, and scratchy, as she tried to desperately call out the only word floating around her mind, "dahyun."

_I'll be so blue just thinking about you_

"dahyun."

"Oh- Momo!" A woman's voice called out from the other side of the room. Mina tried to focus her eyes in the direction of the call. A blonde woman quickly approached her bed, gripping onto the rails looking in a direction over Mina. "Momo! Get the doctor! I think she is waking up!"

_Decorations of red on a green Christmas tree_

"Mina? Mina! Can you hear us?" A new voice asked, her voice somewhere lost in the valley between excitement and panic. Her face popped into view, big wide eyes shiny with unshed tears, and black hair draping down her face.

Slowly Mina raised a hand to her mask, attempting to tug on it but was quickly stopped by the blonde woman. Her throat still hurts, and her lips felt chapped, barely moving as she tried to voice her concerns a little louder, "Dahyun. Where is she?"

_Won't be the same dear, if you're not here with me_

"Ms.Myoui? Can you hear me?" The flashlight that was subsequently shone directly in her eyes hurt her head, so attempted to close them as the doctor held it open. The woman smiled and let go of her face, tucking the small flashlight into the pocket of her white coat, and held up three fingers. "How many fingers do you see?"

"Three." Mina rasped out, soft and dry. A loud sob errupted from somewhere in the room, a position Mina couldn't exactly pin point. She turned her head away from the doctor, seeing the blonde woman sobbing into the woman black hair's chest. The woman just comfortingly rubbed a hand up and down her arm, trying to calm the crying. "Dahyun."

_And when those blue snowflakes start falling_

"It must be a Christmas miracle!" The woman with the black hair cheered, flashing Mina a smile when she saw her head roll in their direction. The crying woman seemed to calm a bit, sniffling and turned towards the doctor.

"Dahyun."

"Dr.Bae, is she going to be alright?" The blonde woman asked and the doctor smiled.

"I think Ms.Mouyi woke up to say Merry Christmas next week." The doctor smiled, placing a comforting hand on the woman's shoulder. "And happy new year."

_That's when those blue memories start calling_

"Where's Dahyun?" Mina asked once again, this time earning the attention of the woman with black hair. She hummed, reaching over the bed and gently petting Mina's hair. She only frowned when Mina tried to scoot her head away, looking up at her. Confusion laced her eyes. Confusion on why she was here, who these people were, where she was. "who are you?"

The comforting smile slowly melted off of the woman's face, and she removed her hand, holding it close to her chest, "It's me, Momo. You know me Minari."

"Minari?" Mina repeated, looking over at the other two women in the room. Both of their expressions morphing from happiness to something Mina just couldn't place. "What's going on. Where am I? Who are you people."

"Ms.Myoui, please calm down." The woman in the white coat interjected, quickly taking her flashlight back out.

_You'll be doin' all right, with your Christmas of white_

"Ma'am, could you tell me your name?" The doctor asked gently, worry starting to etch her face.

"I-I can't."

"Why?"

"I don't know it."

"Do you know who those people are?" The doctor asked, pointing over to Sana and Momo's horrified expressions.

"No."

"You know me!" Sana wailed suddenly, trying to break free from Momo's tight grip on her, "Stop playing."

"How old are you Ms.Myoui?"

"I don't know."

The doctor nodded, closing her eyes before opening the again and turned to Momo and Sana, "We need to run some tests before I can give an official diagnosis."

"Can you give an nonofficial?" Momo asked.

"Amnesia." Dr.Bae answered, before curtly making her exit.

_But I'll have a blue, blue blue blue Christmas_

Sana sighed slamming her hand onto radio next sitting atop her bedside table, the music stopped, bathing the room in a silence save for the steady beat of the heart monitor. Sana, Momo, and Mina sat there just staring at eachother.

"You're my baby sister. I'm Sana. Don't you remember?"

"Where is Dahyun."

"Mina-"

"Please."

"Please, just say my name."

"Sana." Mina obliged, but Sana wished she didn't. The name sat cold and heavy in the air, no emotion behind it. No memories. The more it was quiet the more Mina started to get a little bit more unnerved by everything.

.

Amnesia from head trauma. That was the official diagnosis, well maybe that wasn't the exact terms, however that's what Momo remembered it by. And honestly they should have expected it. Mina had been in a coma for twelve months, those things don't come without consequences.

However she never expected the consequences for Mina to not remembering anything. Especially when they entered Sana and her's house for the first time after the girl was discharged and Mina just stood in the middle of the entrance, unable to find a place to put herself. Or how'd she look at photo frames that decorated the walls with eyes that screamed suspicion and confusion.

And she knew Sana was watching too. So hesitantly Momo took a sip of her coffee, leaning against the counter in the kitchen, watching as Sana cooked mackerel for breakfast. Or pretended to at least. Her girlfriend's mind somewhere far away, while her eyes focused on Mina in the hallways, squinting at the photo frames once again. Lowering the mug, she observed it. One of Mina's character mugs. Maybe a secret part of her hoped Mina would recognize it. The other part of her knew she wouldn't.

"Hey Mitang." Momo called out, counting in her head how long it took the girl to respond to her own name. When Mina's head finally snapped in her direction, she plastered a smile on her face, "Merry Christmas."

"Is that today?" Mina asked, walking into the kitchen and taking a seat on one of the stools set up on the other side of Sana's granite countertop island that she wanted so bad.

"It is. Are you going to help us decorate the tree?"

"Maybe, I have something to do first." Mina hummed, reaching over and taking a piece of the food Sana was preparing, slipping it into her mouth. "I'll be home soon."

"Where are you going?" Momo asked, a bit surprised Mina even remembered anywhere to go and adventure to. A bit more surprised Mina wanted to take that risk.

"The only place I know."

...

"You're a dead man Son Chaeyoung!"

Dahyun let out a loud groan as her two roommates started running around the house again, into the kitchen and on either side of the table trying to gauge the other's next move. The lawyer barely spared a glance at the two, instead just shook her head in disbelief and continued to read over her paper.

"I'm sorry!" Chaeyoung proclaimed, slapping an innocent smile on her face and held her hands up in defense, "But look at how cute he is."

"You STOLE a FERRET from my store!" Tzuyu yelled, attempting to run around the table, to which Chaeyoung quickly shifted holding the ferret up in defense.

Releasing a sigh Dahyun placed her pen down, deciding to observe the scene. She looked up to see Chaeyoung smiling brightly holding a brown ferret up, Tzuyu looked absolutely pissed, still in her work apron. "Chaeyoung why did you steal the ferret?"

"It is Christmas day. Can you really tell this face to be alone on Christmas!" Chaeyoung exclaimed, shoving the the ferret into her face. The animals long body swayed slightly at the motion and Tzuyu let out a growl.

"You cannot be stealing my animals! They need to find homes!"

"They have found a home! With me!"

"Oh my god! You rat!"

"Enough!" Dahyun yelled silencing the two roommates, she stood up observing the situation. Both women looked at her expectantly, holding their breath in anticipation of who's side she'll take.

A pregnant pause.

"The ferret is cute."

One triumphant exclamation and one groan of annoyance later, it seemed like a level of calm had exuded over the kitchen as both roommates took a seat at the table looking over Dahyun's work.

"Why are you working?"

"It's Christmas! You workaholic!"

"I need to get these done." Dahyun sighed, dramatically laying out over the papers. "I'm so tired."

"How much sleep did you get?"

"Not enough." Dahyun rose up, looking over at the ferret Chaeyoung still had cradled in her hands, "What are we making that furry snake."

"I like Tim." Chaeyoung smiled, holding it up and Tim seemed to agree. Tzuyu did not. However she just kept her quiet sticking out her tongue at Chaeyoung.

Ding Dong.

Instinctively Dahyun rose from her seat to get the door, ignoring Chaeyoung's loud whine, "Dahyun she stuck her tongue out at me!"

"Oh get over it you big baby "

"You're supposed to be on my side!"

Sticking out her tongue Dahyun walked over to the intercom, immediately stopping dead in her tracks when she saw the woman standing outside their gates. The woman she hoped she would never see again.

She looked different. Her hair was longer, and she had glasses on. And her usual prim appearance was no where to be found, with one of Sana's old highschool hoodies.

But she was still the same. The constellation of miles covering her face, and her shy smile nervously bouncing on her feet as she waited for an answer. The sky behind was still painted red and orange from the rising sun, only serving to make all the more beautiful. She almost looked like she hadn't dropped off of the face of the Earth for a year. Almost.

Behind her stood Momo, looking apologetic with her hands in her pocket and posture slumped over. She looked like she'd rather be anywhere other than where she was right now.

Tzuyu appeared behind her, letting out a light gasp, followed by Chaeyoung.

"Is that.."

"..Mina?"

"What is she doing here? We haven't heard from her in a year." Tzuyu growled, a dark mood settling over the three of them.

The oldest just shook her head and pressed the button, "Hello?"

"Dahyun?" Mina voice rang through as she looked directly at the camera, "Is that you? That's you. I remember your voice."

"What are you doing here Mina."

"I-I don't know. I need to talk to yo-"

"Don't come here again." And with that she turned off the intercom, uncaring and uninterested in what Mina had to say. She turned around and met Tzuyu's eyes. Concern and care floating around them.

And Dahyun just offered a weak smile, and a shrug. "So are we decorating the tree or what?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Mina, are you sure about this?" Momo asked once again, bringing her cup of coffee to her mouth. She sent her girlfriend a look, who just shrugged and continued to chop up vegetables. "I thought Dahyun made herself quite clear last time."

"I'm positive." Mina answered, firm in tone. She squished another rice ball in her hands before holding it up and showing Momo that it was in the shape of a heart. "She was probably shocked after not seeing me for so long, we are in love after all."

"Mina," Sana cut in, gently putting down her knife, "what do you remember about Dahyun?"

"I met her my sophomore year in college, I can't tell you which college though, because we are both studying to be lawyers. And then she asked me out first, and we've been dating for two years." Mina smiled, before placing another riceball in the container she had set up in front of her. 

The lovers exchanged a silent discussion, each of them daring the other to say something. In the end Momo lost, unsurprisingly, and had to try and break the news. She let out a light sigh, setting down her coffee cup. "Mina, you a-"

"What time is it?" The youngest suddenly ask, taken everyone off guard. 

"It's almost seven thirty."

"I need to go!" Mina exclaimed, slamming the lid on top of her newly packed lunch. Tripping over herself she threw her shoes on and ran out the door, leaving a confused Sana and Momo in her wake. 

"Babe," Sana started turning towards Momo, she had a frown on her face, "I thought everything would be better when she woke up. But it's worse."

"Give her some time, that's what the doctor said. She'll come around, hopefully."

"What if she doesn't? What is she doesn't ever remember?"

"Then we create new memories."

...

"Pour me a bowl." Dahyun demanded, walking into the kitchen earning nothing but an eye roll from Chaeyoung who just set down the box of cereal. Dahyun was already dressed for the day, trousers and a perfectly steamed top, with her briefcase in her hands. It made Chaeyoung sick, it was eight in the morning. It was time for sleep. 

"Pour one yourself." She shot back as Dahyun sat next to her. Grumbling the girl took the cereal and started pouring it into her own bowl. The pale woman started shoveling cereal into her mouth before she heard Chaeyoung sigh. 

"What?"

"I- nothing. Don't worry about it."

"Son Chaeyoung-"

"Why did Mina come by the other day? Are you two going out again?"

"Do you want to die?" Dahyun shot back, aggressively picking up her spoon and pointing it at the younger, "That is a completely absurd thing to say!"

"Why? She seemed happy to see you, I was just wondering if maybe you two made up."

"She's a total lunatic. I don't want to see her ever again. She thinks that she can just bury herself into work, and I'm not going to be hurt. She's a total narcissist." Dahyun ranted, waving her spoon around aggressively, "And then she ghosts me for a whole year and shows up at my door. She needs to be locked up, there is something wrong in her brain."

"First-" Chaeyoung slowly took the spoon out of Dahyun's hand, laying it on the table, "Maybe something is wrong. She seemed a bit confused, and Momo was there too, that's kind of weird."

"There's nothing wrong with her! She's just acting so I'll take her back! That crazy little witch, I swear if she ever shows up here again I'll give her a piece of my mind."

Ding dong. 

Both of their heads whipped towards the direction of the noise. "Who could it be at this hour?"

Dahyun just shrugged at motioned for Dahyun to get the intercom. After a bit of whining the woman got up and walked over to the box, letting out a slight scream of surprise when she saw Mina's face all up in the camera. "Hey, maybe you could tell her right now."

The lawyers head snapped over in the direction, spoon still raised and mouth full of cereal, there was a beat, "what?" She set the bowl down and rushed over to the box as Chaeyoung pressed the button. 

"Kim Dahyun, It's Myoui Mina!" The woman smiled, leaving both women confused as to why she was so happy. Especially this early. Mina was known to not be a morning person, and this was completely out of her personality. 

"Yeah, how can I help you?" Chaeyoung answered, voice stern. 

"Oh, who's voice is that? Let me talk to Dahyun please? I have a gift!" Mina drew out, surprising both women with the amount of aegyo she was displaying. 

"What the hell?" 

"See! I told you! Lunatic!" 

"I can hear you both," Mina giggled, holding up the container, "Look, I made rice balls to share. Let me in and we can eat together!"

"Excuse me, Mina." Dahyun sighed, looking over at Dahyun for support. 

"Yes Dahyun!"

"I don't know why you keep coming her, but please stop. Now take your rice balls and leave!" She hit the hang up and turned to Chaeyoung rolling her eyes. 

"You really told her off didn't you."

"Shut up, do you think she understood me this time?"

...

"But they're in the shape of hearts." Mina weakly argued even though she heard the line go dead. She stepped back onto the street, fishing a sticky note from her pocket and held it up, "I totally understood what you meant."

Dramatically she blew a strand of her hair out of her face and soared another look at the address scribbled out messily on the sticky note. She smiled and started on her journey. Marching down the streets she kept following until eventually she was outside the same address that was written on the paper : 3mix Coffee. She pushed the door open to the shop, listening to the little bell ring over head.

"MINA?!"

Immediately yelling came from behind the counter, catching her off guard. She looked up to see a woman with big eyes, and big- Eyes up Mina. Eyes up. She stood there, mouth slightly agape staring back at Mina. Two other bodies rushed behind the woman, one with short black hair, the other with really squishy looking cheeks. "Hi?"

"Oh my god!" The woman with the short hair exclaimed, motioning for Mina to come over, which she did a bit hesitant. One woman immediately started fixing her a drink and set it in front of her. 

"Here, hope you didn't change your order, it's been a while since you've been in here."

"Sana told us what happened," The woman with the big eyes said, "I'm so happy you're okay. 

Mina took a sip hesitantly before smiling, "This is really good! What is this?"

Their smiles faltered a bit, "what do you mean?"

Shly Mina rubbed the back of her neck, taking another sip. "I uh- I don't remember anything before the accident."

"So you don't know who I am?"

"Or me?"

"Or me?"

"No."

"I'm Jihyo. We met through Sana, and these two run the shop with me. Nayeon and Jeongyeon."

Mentally noting down their names Mina nodded, and the women just stared at her. Nayeon broke the silence first, "So you don't remember anything?"

"Well-"

The bell to the door opened, and all of them turned around to see Dahyun walking in, immediately frowning when she saw Mina. "I do remember one thing."

"I thought I made it very clear I didn't want to see you again Mina." Dahyun stated, walking around her and slamming a few bills on the counter, "my usual please Jeong."

Wasting no time, the woman took a cup and just placed it in front of her, all three of them looking between the two of them. Mina just held up the container of rice balls, "You never took these."

"I don't want them. Bye guys, I need to go to work." Dahyun tried to excuse herself, picking up her cup and turning around before being stopped by a hand on her arm. "What now Mina?"

"I- um. I can't get home."

"What do you mean?

"I don't know how to get home." Mina admitted, "Can you please help me get home, Dahyun."

"No."

"Kim Dahyun-" Jihyo cut in, giving her a warning glare. A little wave of annoyance settled in her gut, before Dahyun sighed and motioned for Mina to follow her. The woman did, following her out of the shop, and down the streets. 

"So-" Mina started, holding up her rice balls and shook them softly, "You should take them."

"You haven't given my rice balls since we were in college. Why are you so insistent now?"

"It's all I know."

Dahyun rolled her eyes, taking another turn on the street and stopped in front of Sana and her apartment. Mina hadn't even realized they were so close in proximity. Mina shot her a wink, handing the rice balls over to her, "So I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I don't ever want to see your face again, even if just for a moment. I don't care if you think we're fine, we're not."

"Why not?"

"I will not play these games with you anymore. I'm done. You don't get to leave and come back again. It's not fair, don't you agree?"

"No, I don't."

"Well, let's pretend this never happened." Dahyun stated, holding the container, she shook it a few times before letting it fall to the floor. She walked past her. "Goodbye Mina."

"Myoui Mina!" Footsteps rushed down steps from the unit above. Dahyun recognized the voice immediately, stopping in her tracks. Sana looked slightly out of breath, grasping onto Mina's shoulders, "You can't just not tell me where you're going! What if you got lost and couldn't find your way back home!"

Slowly Dahyun turned around to see Sana trying to look at Mina's face. Her head was down, trying to hide her expression. "Mina? Are you crying?"

"No." Her tone, screamed yes. A subtle crack in it that made Dahyun's heart ache softly. "Let's just go inside."

Sana's head snapped up, staring daggers at Dahyun. "Fuck you Kim Dahyun." She took Mina by the shoulders and let her inside, slamming the gate behind her. She left Dahyun out there, confused as to why she felt like the world's biggest asshole and that maybe something more was going on.


	3. Chapter 3

Why was it so cold in their house, Momo had no idea. She just turned up the thermostat as she shoved her jacket off and placed it on the hook near the door. She hung up her keys and took off her shoes before walking into the house. 

It was only about seven, so it was strange that the house was silent when she arrived. Ever since Mina had come to live with them, Momo has never come home to a quiet house. Sana would be on one side of the house, Mina in the other. Never interacting, yet comfortable with the other's presence. But the house would still be loud, filled the brim with chatter from the TV or Sana cooking something. As Momo walked into the kitchen and saw a plate of dinner set aside for her, the quiet was starting to get at her more and more. 

It was a simple meal, some pasta and sauce. Atypical for Sana who liked to cook a lot of food for everyone. And Momo was ravenous, so the food was gone fairly quickly. She placed her plate into the sink and finally wandered into the living room. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Mina fast asleep on the couch. She was turned on her stomach, one arm hanging off, a small puddle of drool forming around her mouth. It was gross, yet slightly cute. 

Momo just peeled the red checkered blanket off the back of the couch, and placed it over the girl. She turned off the lights and left the room, trudging off into her own bedroom. A smile graced her face when she saw Sana laying in bed, back facing the entrance. She jumped onto the bed, wrapping her arms around Sana's waist and pressed a soft kiss to the nape of her neck. "Hey baby."

"Hi, how was work?" Sana replied, her tone sounded heavy, tired. 

"It was good," The older responded, adjusting her body so she was effectively spooning the younger, "Is everything alright?"

"I am going to kill Dahyun."

"Why?"

"You know how Mina was so happy to see her, she yelled at her, and threw the food Mina made her onto the ground."

"Wait, really?"

"Yes!" Sana exclaimed, agitation evident in her tone, "I understand she is upset about the breakup, but it was her fault."

"Why don't we just tell Mina why they broke up, or that they broke up in general?"

"I don't know."

"Maybe we should, Dahyun does seem like she is doing better these days."

"Maybe-" Sana sighed, "Maybe I am being selfish, but I just didn't want to ruin the only thing Mina has."

"That's not selfish. You just care." Momo hummed, pressing a soft kiss the back of Sana's hair, "We can tell her tomorrow, she's passed out on the couch right now."

Sana just nodded, and Momo smiled. One day at a time. 

  


-

The bell above the door to 3mix coffee rang out again as Mina confidently pulled it open. Sana had been very, very clear about the exact order she wanted and Mina had fully memorized it on the way there. 

Caramel Macchiato with two pumps of turbo. Whatever turbo was. 

So Mina approached the counter with a smile on her face, and a ten dollar bill in her hand, ready to get the order. Nayeon smiled at her from the other side of the counter, "Hey Mina, what can I get you?"

"One Caramel Macchiato with two pumps of turbo!" Mina confidently recited, before more sheepishly adding, "and whatever the thing you gave me yesterday was."

"So a Sana and Mina special? Coming right up." Nayeon punched the orders in and Jeongyeon was quick to start making the orders. "That'll be $6.35"

Just as Mina was about to hand over the ten, a credit card cut in front of her and was outstretched to Nayeon. Both women turned towards the hand connected to the card, and Dahyun stood there looking a bit awkward, waving the card slightly. She was dressed similarly to the day prior, except this time in a charcoal grey suit and blue shirt. Nayeon hesitantly took the card, sparing a look back at Jihyo who wore a similar expression. The two drinks was set on the counter and Mina snatched them up, glaring at Dahyun. 

"Mina-" Dahyun started, placing her card back into her wallet, "We should talk."

"I don't want to talk to you."

"Maybe we need to."

"I thought you said you never wanted to see me again."

"I did, but-"

"Then I'll be going." And with that Mina slipped out of the shop, and Dahyun watched as she stomped down the street. In any other circumstances Dahyun would've thought it was cute, in some adorable Mina way, but her heart just felt a bit heavy. 

The lawyer sighed and turned back to the counter, "My usual please."

"Jesus christ Dahyun, how did you already mess things up with Mina already?" Jihyo sighed, Jeongyeon nodded in agreement making the drink. 

"Things have been messed up for a long time."

"But you had a fresh start," Jihyo sighed, "I don't understand you two."

"What do you mean?"

"Huh?"

"Why would I have a fresh start?"

"Cause Mina doesn't remember?" 

"What."

Jihyo scanned the girl's face, and found nothing but confusion. Nayeon and Jeongyeon also stopped what they were doing, sharing a look. Jeongyeon spoke up first, "You do know Mina was in the hospital for a year right?"

"What? Why?"

"She was in a car accident, and she was put in a coma for a year. Dahyun, she lost her memory."

There are moments in life when everything changes. This was one of those. Suddenly the floor was ripped from under her feet, and she felt like she was falling, tumbling into nothingness. She stumbled trying to find words, could only stare back in horror. So she sprinted out of the shop, running down the streets until she found herself bent over and stuttering for breath. 

Dahyun ran a hand through her hair, trying to catch her breath and calm her racing heartbeat. This was too much. This was all too much. 

She needed a drink. 

Just one. She promised herself, just one. Something to help her calm down. She could always get a new twelve months sober chip. No. Stop. Mentally she smacked herself for even thinking about that. She fished her phone out of her pocket, quickly dialling the first number. 

"What's up my brother?" Chaeyoung's voice filled the speakers, relaxed and soft music playing in the background. 

Tripping over her words, Dahyun relayed the news. Chaeyoung went quiet, "Come home and let's play just dance on the Wii."

"I don't think that's important right now!"

"I don't want you to relapse, so it is. We can figure this out later, just come home."

"Okay." And Dahyun obliged, making the trip journey home and found an anxious looking Tzuyu and Chaeyoung waiting for her on the couch. Tim the ferret ran across the floor, and Dahyun almost tripped over him. 

"You didn't drink right?" Tzuyu asked, and Chaeyoung smacked her on the arm.

"We agreed we were going to ease into that!"

"It's important!"

"Guys, I'm fine." Dahyun cut in, sitting on the couch between them. She let out a sigh as Jihyo's words bounced around her head. 

How could she not remember. It didn't make sense. It was a joke wasn't it, some cruel joke. No. It was true. And she knew. 

It was strange, Dahyun resented the girl for the past year. Cursing her for leaving, especially when Dahyun needed her the most. She left. A part of her still felt angry, another part of her felt..she wasn't quite sure what to call it. Relieved? Settled? She wasn't sure. It was just so overwhelming, so suffocating. 

"Dubu, I can see you spriling." Chaeyoung cut in, holding out a Wii remote. "Dance it out."

The lawyer nodded and took the remote, loosening her tie. Chaeyoung clicked on song and the three danced. Until their lungs were burning and they were laying on the floor. Dahyun would never say she was ungrateful for their help. 

"It does make a bit more sense now." Chaeyoung spoke up, "Something did seem off."

"Yeah."

"What are you going to do no-"

Ding Dong

The three heads snapped towards the door. Who could it possibly be? It was starting to get kind of late. Tzuyu got up, tripping over herself as she got to the small intercom. "Mina?"

"Mina's here?" Chaeyoung questioned, taking a peak at the time. It was well past eleven, why the girl had randomly showed up was a bit concerning. 

"She's crying."

"Huh?"

Dahyun got up, wasting no time running out the front door and opening the gate. Mina was staring back at her with glossy eyes, choking over her sobs, body tight as she tried to control herself. "Mina-"

The girl pushed past Dahyun, stomping up into their house meeting Tzuyu and Chaeyoung's curious eyes, "Where is Dahyun's room?"

They both pointed to Dahyun's room and the girl rushed into it. The three roommates exchanged a look before following her and saw Mina rummaging through Dahyun's drawers. "Mina-"

She ignored them and kept looking, "where is it."

"Mina what are you looking for?"

"You don't have it!" Mina exclaimed, turning around and poking a finger into Dahyun's chest, "The ring! Why don't you have it!"

Dahyun immediately knew what she was talking about. The small silver couple rings they had gotten eachother years ago. The ones they promised to never lose. Mina pushed Dahyun away and started to rummage through her closet, getting more and more hysterical as she did so, eventually lowering herself to the ground. "mina-"

"What did I do!" Mina asked, looking up at Dahyun, "You hate me, and I don't know why! I don't know anything! I'm so frustrated! I just want to know!"

Slowly Dahyun lowered herself to her knees, wrapping her arms around Mina, letting the girl cry into her shoulder. She could tell Mina was beyond frustrated, and she didn't blame her. A phone rang, but Dahyun paid no attention to it. She just whispered and cooed trying to get Mina to calm down. 

Tzuyu and Chaeyoung watched from the doorway, Tim nestled into Chaeyoung's arms. Tzuyu pulled Chaeyoung out of the room and closes the door, trying to give Mina a bit of privacy. They just stood and watched the painted white door, listening to Mina's screams and cries, like a small child. "I kinda feel bad for her."

"Me too." Chaeyoung admitted, grabbing a water from the fridge, and set it outside of Dahyun's door. 

"But I don't know if I forgive her."

Chaeyoung sighed, "I don't think Dahyun knows either."


	4. Chapter 4

Drrring

Sana looked up from her position behind the counter, a tired smile on her lips, "Welcome!"

It was late, and their part timer had called out. Momo had just cover the shift in the morning, and no one was about to stick Mina in this position, so here Sana was. Completely not loving life. Sana had opened up a small convenience store with her girlfriend when they first arrived in Korea, all the way back when Mina was fourteen. The then nineteen year old Sana had no clue what to do, now just given her younger sister so she put all her money into the store and it was enough to get them by, and Mina through college. She had a bit of money she just hired a few workers and never really had to come in. But Mina's accident, and the hospital bills put a damper on that, causing her and Momo to have to work shifts often. 

Mina had returned late last night anyways, and things have been a bit tense ever since. She heard the person that entered the shop rustle around, and she turned back to her phone scrolling through instagram absentmindedly. A bottle was placed on the counter, and Sana scanned it, turning to the person in front of her, "That'll be $0.99- why are you here."

"I think we need to talk." Tzuyu shrugged handing Sana a one. The woman put it into the cash register and watched as Tzuyu opened up the container and took a sip, "about Mina."

"What about her?"

"You and I both want Mina and Dahyun to be separated." Tzuyu stated, pausing for a second to give Sana a chance to argue. She didn't. "They both are recovering, and I think this will set them back."

"Okay, continue."

"Dahyun has been out of rehab for about six months now, and she's doing good. Mina, well I don't really know. She's awake? So that's good. I just don't want history to repeat itself."

"Tzuyu." Standing up straight, Sana frowned, "Just cut to the point. What do you want."

"Don't let Mina come over anymore, it's not good for Dahyun. I know she doesn't remember, but Dahyun does. She abandoned Dahyun, and I know she's still hurt."

"Mina had no other choice." Sana argued, feeling her temper start to flare up, "You three keep trying to make it seem like Mina just left Dahyun as soon as things got rough. Like she never cared. You and I know damn well she tried her goddamn best, but that fucking drunk ruined them. Not Mina."

Tzuyu just took another sip of her drink, before taking a deep breath, "This is why I came to you. I don't want them to get hurt again."

"Me too."

"So we are in agreement."

"I guess we are." 

The taller girl smiled before walking towards the exit, she half opened the door before turning back, "I don't blame Mina as much I blame you. You were the one whispering in her ear to leave."

"I was only telling her what was best for her."

"And how'd that work out for you?" Tzuyu questioned, tilting her head, "Obviously not to well, because Mina drove into on coming traffic."

"You don't know anything."

"You're right, that's just what Nayeon told me. I asked her about what happened, because you two apparently didn't find it important to tell us. You guys don't know if it was on purpose or accidental."

"It wasn't on purpose."

"Yeah? Did Mina remember to tell you that? She was only a block away from Dahyun's rehab center. Kind of suspicious."

"Tzuyu."

"Sana."

"Get the hell out of my store."

"Gladly." Tzuyu fake saulted, "Keep Mina away, and I'll do the same with Dahyun."

The door closed and Sana let out a breath she didn't even realize she was holding. She relaxed in her chair and tried to go back to scrolling through Instagram on her phone. 

God she really couldn't stand Chou Tzuyu.

...

  


"You see, know I just think your following me." Dahyun said, turning around and saw Mina standing behind her in line. The girl just smiled and held up a five dollar bill.

"I'm here for my drink."

"Put that money away, I'll buy it." Dahyun turned to Jihyo and the woman just gave her a knowing look. It took a few minutes but soon both women had their drinks and was leaving the shop. 

The sun was out, while it didn't do much to battle the frigid January air, it felt nice against their skin. Dahyun looked over and watched as Mina held the cup with both hands, sipping on the straw as they walked out. The woman released the straw from her mouth, turning towards Dahyun, "So you're a lawyer?"

"Yes, and you are too."

"I'm not. I don't remember anything about the law."

"Yeah but you passed the exam-"

"That was the old me."

"The old you?"

"The person I was before the accident. I'm not her." Mina stated simply, "you're the only thing tethering us together."

Dahyun went quiet at that, and just opted to take a sip of her drink. That was a weird concept. That Mina was somehow a different person, even though she looked the same. Dahyun had changed since they last saw eachother, but would she call herself a new person? Probably not. She heard Mina giggle next to her, "what?"

"I can't believe we broke up."

"Do you know why?"

"No, Momo didn't tell me. I ran out before she could."

"Do you want to know why?"

"No." Mina hummed, "I'm just going to have to make you fall in love again."

"You don't need to do that. I never stopped loving you. I do resent you."

"Is it a big resentment?"

"I thought it was, but now- I don't know."

Mina clicked her tongue and rummaged through her bag, before holding up a small container, "here."

"What are these?"

"Rice Balls." Mina handed them over and Dahyun accepted them. A part of her was glad her hard work didn't end up all over the ground once again. "Just incase you get hungry."

"Thanks." Dahyun smiled, tucking them into her own bag. She looked at her watch and frowned, "I need to go, unless-"

"Unless?"

"You wanted to come to the firm? Maybe it would trigger your memory?"

"It would just make me sad."

"Do I make you sad?"

"No, everyone but you. I know you. I don't know anyone else."

"Sana wouldn't like to hear that."

"Sana doesn't like me." Mina stated, a certain sadness tinging her voice, "she treats me like a stranger."

"Well- you two kind of are."

"I know." Mina sighed, before pointing to the entrance of the subway station, "you need to go, or you'll be late."

.

"You're home?" 

"Mmm." Mina called back, throwing her shoes into the pile near the door and walked into the livingroom to see Sana folding clothes on the couch. She picked up a particularly large blanket and motioned for the woman to come over. Mina quickly obliged, taking the other side of the blanket. 

"Where did you go?" Sana questioned, folding the blanket. Momo walked into the room, flopping down on the couch opposite, a bowl of cereal in her hands. 

"I walked Dahyun to work."

"Mina." Sana sighed, placing the blanket down, "Maybe, you shouldn't do that anymore."

"Why?"

"It's not good for you."

Mina just sent her a confused look, "huh?"

"I think you should stay away from her Mina. You two didn't end on good terms."

"Sana-"

"I'm serious. Please- just listen to me on this one." Sana stated.

Momo just shoveled a spoonful of cereal into her mouth looking between the two women. 

"No."

"Myoui Mina, you are a grown ass adult. Don't act like a child."

"If I'm a grown ass adult, then I can talk to whoever I want."

"Mina, you don't understand."

"No I do." Mina huffed, before walking out of the room. 

Sana turned towards Momo, and the woman just shrugged and had another spoonful, "What do you think?"

"I think she's going to do whatever she wants. We just need to make sure it doesn't get bad again."

Mina slammed the door to her room shut and sat on her bed, glaring at the door. Almost daring Sana to open it. Maybe it wasn't justifiable why she was so mad, but she didn't really care. Her phone buzzed from the other side of the room, and she stomped over to it, smiling when she saw the name on the screen.

Dubu

Hey, I just wanted to let you know the food was good. Thank you.

[3:47PM]

Minari

I'm glad you liked it! xx

[3:48PM]

Dubu

Are you sure you don't want to come in to the firm? Joohyun wants to see you again.

[3:48PM]

Minari

Okay, tomorrow?

[3:49PM]

Dubu 

Yes

[3:49PM]

Minari

If i get sad you need to buy me another one of my drinks, to cheer me up

[3:50PM]

Dubu

Fine, god so needy

[3:50PM]

Minari

See yoy tomorrow

[3:51PM]

Minari

*you

[3:51PM]

Dubu

See you

[3:52PM]

Mina closed the phone and relaxed into her bed, a small smile in her face. Sana was going to not be happy if she found out, and she was probably offering to make herself upset. But she didn't even care anymore.

She heard the front door close, Momo or Sana must've been heading out to the store. Maybe she should ask them to work there, she would need a job. 

She picked her phone back up, trying to see if there was another notification. Of course there was none. But that was okay. 

She could wait.


	5. Chapter 5

"As your sister, I don't think this is a good idea Mina." Sana insisted for the millionth time that morning. 

Mina had stopped into their small convenience store on her way to Dahyun's that morning, and when asked her daily plans told Sana and Momo what she was going to do. Momo seemed pleased Mina wanted to try and do something she used to, Sana not so much. 

"Why wouldn't it be a good idea?" Mina shot back, holding her ground causing Sana to roll her eyes in annoyance. 

"Because you're just going to get yourself hurt again."

"Babe-" Momo cut in, after having listened in to the entire argument, "Maybe you should-"

"Why are you taking her side?"

"I'm not taking anyone's side, but Mina is a grown woman."

"A grown woman with no memories!" 

Momo sighed, placing down the box of shipment that she was previously putting out, "Mina, you should get going you're going to be late." 

The youngest wasted no time storming out of the store, slamming the door behind her leaving Momo with a livid Sana. "baby."

"Don't even try to talk to me." Sana shot back, angrily picking up he box of shipment and brushed past Momo. "You never took my side through all of this and looked what happened."

"Baby. What's wrong."

"You know what's wrong."

"Yeah, you don't want Mina to see Dahyun. But I don't get why you're being so mean to her lately."

"I'm not being mean."

"Sana, she can get her memories back." Momo hummed, walking up behind the still seething woman and wrapped her arms around her waist, "I know you're grieving, and you're angry at the whole situation. But don't taking it out on Mina."

Sana went quiet at that, slowly letting herself relax into Momo's embrace, "That woman isn't Mina."

"It is."

"How can it be?"

"It is, and you know it." Momo cooed, resting her chin on Sana's shoulder, "Remember when she first moved here and cried because instead of asking someone for their name, she asked if they knew her name."

That earned a small chuckle from Sana at the memory of Mina's first day of school in Korea. 

"Jihyo was nice, and they became friends eventually. But that was just too funny. Or that time she stole your car and Jihyo, Jeongyeon, Nayeon and her all got pancakes at one am and you were so pissed. Or how you cried when she got accepted into SNU, and I swear you were more excited than she was."

"Why are you bringing this up?"

"Because just because she doesn't remember, doesn't mean that they just disappeared." 

"Tzuyu came by the other day," Sana admitted, "We talked about how we didn't want Dahyun and Mina seeing eachother."

"I don't really want that either. But if it's going to happen, you need to stop being mad at her."

"Okay."

"Now, let's finish this shipment, and tonight talk to Mina."

...

The lawyer looked over and watched Mina frown, taking a sip of her coffee. "We must be late, there are a lot of cars here already." Mina looked back over to Dahyun, and the woman quickly looked away, unbuckling her seatbelt. 

"Are you sure you want to go in there? I don't want to pressure you into anything." Dahyun warned once again, Mina just shook her head and slipped out of the car. Dahyun quickly followed her, both women walking into a large grey building. 

After a quick greeting to the secretary gaurding the entrance, they were in and Mina could already feel herself start to be mildly overwhelmed. She followed as Dahyun walked through a small section of desks to her office, being stopped by a hand on her wrist.

"Mina?!" A woman asked, she had long black hair and a smile that Mina found pretty. She just offered a polite smile, and the woman seemed to remember that Mina had no clue who she was. "Oh- I'm Joohyun, we worked together. It's good to see you again."

Mina just nodded, and Dahyun sent a nonverbal apology to Joohyun who just waved her hand in understanding, "Dahyun I put those files you were asking for on your desk, it was nice to see you again Mina."

Joohyun walked away almost as quickly as she came,

...

She picked up a piece of paper reading over it. She traced the words under her fingers before looking back up at Dahyun. "I knew what all of this meant?"

"Yeah." Dahyun hummed, setting her coat down on the small hook set up on the wall. "You were the best in this entire firm, even though you were only here for about a year."

"Did I quit?"

"I don't know. I went away for a few months, and when I came back you were already gone. No one told me anything."

"I'm sorry."

"You were in a coma."

"Yeah-"

"It wasn't exactly your fault. It was the people around you."

"You don't like Sana?"

"We've had our differences. She's just protective, all she really has is you and Momo, It's okay now. I understand now." Dahyun sat down at her desk, pulling a chair up next to her so Mina could sit and look over what she was doing. She really had no work today, so maybe they'd leave early and go do something else, or she'd drop Mina off at home. 

And they just sat for a few hours, Dahyun played an old mixtape Mina had made for her years ago in the dusty CD player that nestled itself of the desk above her desk. The sound quality wasn't great, but Mina seemed to like it. Even if she didn't remember it. 

The thought of that was slightly funny to Dahyun. Mina never forgot anything, birthdays, anniversaries, any sort of thing that Dahyun had said and Mina wanted to bring up in an argument. It was always Dahyun who'd forget. But now Dahyun was cursed to remember, and Mina cursed to forget. Both of whom would gibe anything to be in the predicament of the other. 

When noon rolled around they had alreasy finished the paperwork, and it was obvious by the way Mina started tapping away at games on her phone that she was incredibly bored. So Dahyun set down the paper stack and got up with a stretch. 

"You ready to head out?"

"Yeah," Mina stretched as well, letting Dahyun lead her out of her office. The got half way to the door before a they were stopped. 

"Mina!" Joohyun called, waving at the woman, before running handed her a small card, "If you ever want your job back, or just to hang out, call me. Okay? And I hope you get your memory back."

Now Joohyun didn't mean anything bad by that, and both Mina and Dahyun knew that. But it still rubbed Mina the wrong way, dampening her mood slightly and caused the smile to slightly fade frome her face. But she regained her composure and just waved by as they both sautered back to Dahyun's car. 

In silence the car was started and drove onto the rode, only 

The soft blow of the heat in the car being heard.

Even though Mina didn't say it, Dahyun could tell the woman's mood was slightly dampered. And she didn't blame her. She had just spent her whole day living a day of her old life, a life that she knew existed but was just out of her reach. So Dahyun wordlessly switched lanes and purposely missed their exit. The other girl didn't seem to notice, just watching as the road whizzed by. 

They eventually found themselves in at a small market next to the sea. Dahyun just parked the car and slipped out, leaving a confused Mina in the car, they walked over to the beach where a small collection of rocks sat. Mina sat down, while Dahyun made a motion and ran away, reemerging a few minutes later with two icecream cones in her hands and a wide smile on her face. 

"What's this?" Mina quetioned as Dahyun shoved the small cone into her hands. 

The pale woman just shrugged, taking a seat next to Mina, "You said I'd owe you a drink if I got you sad, I hope this will do instead. I know you love ice cream."

"Mm. We got ice cream on our first date."

"You remember that?"

"I only remember you."

A seagull cried overhead, causing Dahyun to look up. Before sighing, "Then do you remember where we are?"

"No."

"This is where we broke up." 

...

"Sana doesn't want me seeing you." Mina stated, taking a lick of her ice cream. She squinted her eyes against the harsh glare of the run as it reflected off the waves, enjoying the way the wind tossed her hair away from her face.

"I don't blame her." The lawyer frowned, mimicking Mina and took a large bite of her own cone, "We weren't really the best for eachother."

She turned to heard to watch as Mina looked out into the ocean. She could practically see the gears churning, "was it bad?"

"Yes."

"Tell me what happened to us."

"Are you sure?"

"I thought I didn't want to know, but- I need to know."

"Okay."


	6. Chapter 6

  
Momo was beyond nervous.

Sana reached for her hand as they anxiously looked around through the crowds of people walking out of the airport gates. Seas of nameless faces walked past until their eyes landed on a very nervous Mina. She looked a bit tired from the flight, in a hoodie that was two sizes too big, clutching the strap of her backpack tightly. Sana waved like a mad man, and slowly Mina approached them. Head down, and feet shuffling both women could tell she was anything but comfortable. Not that anyone blamed her.

It wasn't a secret Mina didn't want to move to Korea. She had been very vocal about it the past few weeks since it was decided Mina would move in with Sana following their parents death.

A drunk driver. Momo almost wanted to scoff at that. The sheer audacity of someone getting behind the wheel intoxicated was beyond her. But they did, and now Momo has to try and balance the equally broken Sana and Mina as they tried to readjust to their new lives. The funeral was small, and incredibly sad. Momo has never seen someone cry as much as Sana did, gripping onto her for support as it poured outside. But Mina was the one that stuck in Momo's memory. Staring down at the two caskets adorned with flowers and pictures in the graveyard, hair wet and sticking to her face as she didn't even attempt to shield herself from the rain. But while Sana cried, Mina just had a blank expression on her face. She didn't come home for two days after the funeral, finally remerging when her ballet instructor called and told Sana that Mina had been sleeping at the studio and practiced until she would throw up. With how the two days following the funeral went, Momo was surprised Sana even remembered she had a sister. Her parents owed a lot of money, and the people they owed expected Sana to pay it.

So Sana made the only decision she felt she could in the moment. She took all the money her and Momo had been saving up, and bought a small store in the middle of Seoul. Of course Momo was pissed, but she caved and agreed. Mina was not so easy to convince.

The moody 14 year old just walked past them, headphones still in, as Sana tried to greet her. " _Minari_ _!_ _Hey, I'm talking to you."_

 _"Give her a bit of time."_ Momo advised, dragging Sana softly after Mina. They exited the airport and Momo drove back to their apartment. It wasn't nice, actually quite the opposite. But hey, at least Momo could say they had a pet? Did roaches count as pets?

Mina's bedroom door slammed shut, and Sana let out a tired sigh. She wouldn't deal with this attitude from anyone else, only Mina.

...

"So this is the cafeteria, and that's the last stop on our tour!" The girl cheered.

She seemed nice enough, having visited Sana's store the day they opened and both women immediately jumped on the teenager when they realized she was in Mina's grade. It didn't even take any convincing for the girl to invite Mina to walk to school with her, and show her around. Her friends were nice too, as she sat down at the table with them. They were considerate of Mina, and didn't bombard her with questions like she had been the entire day.

They talked and talked and talked, not that Mina minded. It gave her less opportunities too, and flexing her lackluster korean skills was not something she really wanted to do. Four weeks of hardcore cramming had seemed to run away as soon as she arrived in Korea. But there was something that did slightly bug Mina. She didn't have any inkling of what the girl's name was.

So she opened her mouth, and almost immediately regretted it, "What is my name?"

"What?" Confusion bloomed on the girl's face, trying to decipher the poorly pronounced words jumbling from her mouth.

"My name. You know? Name."

"Mina?"

Shook crossed Mina's face as she tried to process the information. What was the chances that her name was Mina as well. A wide smile spread across her face, _"Really? Are you kidding? That's awesome."_

The smile slowly faded when she saw the look of confusion spread across each of their faces. The one with bunny teeth decided to speak up, "Ji, I don't think she understands."

"No dip Sherlock."

"Jeongyeon, I'll punch you."

The girl tried again, mustering up whatever knowledge she had in her Japanese classes, _"You're name is Mina."_

_"_ _Yes-_ _"_

_"My name is Jihyo."_

_"_ _But-_ _You said you're name is Mina?"_

_"You asked, what was your own name."_

Realization dawned on Mina's face, slowly tinting in red as she tried to work through the complete humiliation she felt. She just nodded and stood up, walking out of the cafeteria, and then the school. Angrily marching down the road to Sana's store, wiping away tears.

"Welcome!" Momo's voice rang out, and Mina didn't even know what that meant. She didn't know any of this fucking language. Momo frowned when she saw Mina, _"aren't you supposed to be at school?"_

_"Where's Sana?"_

_"In the back."_

Mina brushed past Momo, throwing the door open scaring the living daylights out of her sister in the process. _"Mina?"_

_"I want to go home!"_

_"Penguin, this is_ _home-_ _"_

_"I hate it here! I just humiliated myself!_ _And-_ _I want to go home! I want Mom and Dad. Let's go home Sana! Please!"_

_"We can't. There is nothing left for us there_ _Mitang_ _. We are stuck here. Mom and Dad aren't coming back, we just need to deal with this."_

And then Mina started to cry. And to be honest, no one was sure about what. Maybe the stress of moving. Maybe finally greiving the loss of her parents. Maybe she really was just that embarrassed. It was indistinguishable.

Mina cried and cried until she couldn't anymore. Just heaving on the ground in uneven sobs and Momo and Sana stood there trying to figure out what to do.

The bell above the door of the shop rang and footsteps entered the shop. Sana shot Momo a look, telling her to take care of Mina as she went to the front.

As soon as she entered, the stressed voices of the girls Mina had met at school filled the store.

"Is Mina okay?"

"She ran out of school."

"I think we embarrassed her."

Sana had to blink a few times, trying to cypher through the three girls talking at a breakneck speed. They looked concerned, and slightly upset. Even during these times, Sana had to bite back a smile. Maybe Mina had made some friends after all. So Sana racked her brain for something to say, "She is scary. This is new."

The girls seemed to understand, smiling brightly when Mina emerged from the back, eyes still red blush tinging her cheeks as she thought back to lunch. But girl with the big eyes surprised her, _"My name is Jihyo, and these two are Nayeon and Jeongyeon. Do you want to be friends?"_

The pronunciation was a bit off, and it sounded weird. But Mina smiled anyways.

Jeongyeon spoke up next, _"We can teach you Korean."_

Maybe Korea could be home.

...

It didn't take long for the Hirai-Minatozaki house to be fully fluent in both Korean and Japanese, switching back and forth between languages. Jihyo, Jeongyeon, and Nayeon had found a place in their home at some point.

Therefore friday family dinners were born.

But no friday dinner was as important as this one right here.

Everyone stared Momo down as she held the letter that would determine if Mina actually got into her dream school or not; Seoul National University.

Slowly Momo opened the letter, amd took out the folded piece of paper letting her eyes float across the letters. Her eyes widened in shock as she set it down and grinned at Mina, "Congratulations Mitang."

The whole kitchen exploded with cheers as they celebrated Mina's accomplishment. Mina read over the letter multiple times, trying to prove to herself this was real. Sana was blubbering like a baby, celebrating for Mina.

This was the start.

...

The second day of sophmore year was when Mina first talked to Kim Dahyun. She had noticed her before, always joking around with her friends, who were comically different sizes. But that day Dahyun approached her first, a shy smile on her face after their class.

"Hey, you're Mina right?"

"Yeah, Dahyun?"

"Do you think maybe I could have you're number? You know- for class."

"Oh yeah! Of course." Mina smiled, quickly typing her number in and gave Dahyun a slight nod before starting to walk away.

"Wait!" Dahyun smiled sheepishly, rubbing a hand on the back of her neck, "Actually, would you, maybe want to go on a date sometime?"

"Huh?"

"I mean I was just wondering, you're pretty. And nice. And I'm rambling." Dahyun's cheeks became increasingly more red, as she tried to back track on what she was saying, "You know maybe I should go."

"I'd love to go on a date with you."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh-OH! That's great! Friday?"

"Yeah, you have my number right?"

"Yeah, I'll text you!" Dahyun cheered practically skipping away from Mina. When she thought she was out of sight, she started celebrating sightly causing Mina to burst out laughing.

What a dork.

...

"Here." Dahyun smiled, handing a ice cream bar over to Mina as they watched the sea. "I had a lot of fun with you today."

"Me too."

"Maybe you'd want to do this again?"

"Of course."

"Can I kiss you?"

"Please."

...

And just like that, Friday night dinners went from six to nine. Momo, Sana, Jihyo, Nayeon, and Jeongyeon all seemed to really like Dahyun and her friends.

But it was still a bit nerve racking to bring her over, to where undoubtedly Sana would interrogate the woman. But Dahyub sat in their livingroom anyways, chatting up a storm with her sister and her friends. She took her place next to her, leaning over to whisper in her ear, "Do you want something to drink?"

"Can I get like a beer or something?"

"Oh- uh we don't drink. Sana's really against it. My parents were killed by a drink driver, so none of us drink, brings up to many memories."

"Oh, then I'm good." Dahyun smiled, pressing a kiss onto Mina's cheek, making her ears go red. "You're cute."

...

"Can you please get off your phone." Dahyun groaned, setting down her fork with a bit more force than necessary, "This is our one year anniversary, and you're doing work."

"I'm sorry babe, but Yeji asked me what she missed and I'm just filling her in. I'll be done in a minute I promise."

"Yeji?"

"Yeah, she's in our business class."

"Why do you have her number?"

"Like I just said she's in our class." Mina groaned finally putting her phone down on the table, "happy?"

"Can you not give me attitude?" Dahyun snapped, taking a sip of her wine, "Can we not just have a nice dinner? You're always doing school work anyways, it's annoying."

Without thinking Mina reached over and grabbed the wine from her, setting it on Mina's side of the table, out of reach, "Can you stop drinking? You always get like this."

"Like what?"

"Insecure."

Dahyun rolled her eyes taking another bite of her food, staring down Mina who didn't seem to be backing down as well.

.

" _Fuck!_ Dahyun! Faster!"

"Is that Mina?" Momo asked in a small voice, her face pale as she looked over at the now shut bedroom door. "Weren't they mad at eachother when they got home?"

Sana just shrugged and turned up the volume of the TV.

"Don't you dare fucking stop! Dahyun!" A light chuckle escaped the room and Mina's moans filled their apartment once again. 

Momo just put her headphones in and turned up the volume. While yeah, Mina was a grown woman, she was still her little girl.

She was starting to slip away from Sana and Momo. And while they both knew it was coming, it was still a bit scary.

...

Mina knocked on the door again, before finally caving and opening it up. It was quiet, but immediately Mina noticed the sheer amount of empty cups and bottles covering their apartment. Even though Dahyun had told her some friends were going to come over and celebrate the new job her and Mina had gotten, this was a bit much even for her. Mina had only been gone, having gone over Sana's for the weekend, and she knew for a fact these weren't there at the beginning.

Thinking of it, Dahyun had been drinking a lot lately. And Mina was starting to see her more intoxicated than sober.

As she waddled through the apartment, a stray can crushed beneath her feet earning a groan from Dahyun who was laid out on the couch. "Shhh."

"Good to know you're alive."

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know, maybe your liver gave out?"

"My liver is strong."

"Don't you think this is a bit excessive?" Mina frowned, looking at the sheer about of beer cans covering Dahyun's counter. She took out a trash bag and started shoving cans in much to Dahyun's annoyance.

The girl groaned, holding her head as she rolled off of the couch, "We just had a few drinks last night. Come lay down with me, my head hurts."

With a roll of her eyes, Mina set down the bag, and walked over to where Dahyun was laying on the floor. She curled up into her side, smiling at her, "You shouldn't drink so much."

"I was just celebrating with friends we got a job at this firm."

"Still."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

...

Mina's phone rang again, and she just placed it face down after pressing ignore.

This isn't like her, she shouldn't be ignoring her own girlfriend or staying for as long as she could at the office just to avoid going home. But Dahyun had royally pissed her off this morning.

She told Mina to go to work without her, she was taking a half day. But when she showed up for work at twelve like she said she would, completely drunk, Mina was pissed. Of course she was embarrassed, but she was also concerned.

This wasn't like Dahyun. Why was she doing this. And it wasn't like Mina didn't notice, she did, it was painfully apparent. But anytime she brought it up, the girl got defensive and it only ended up causing a fight.

So Mina elected to stay at work, fighting heavy, sleepy eyes as she tried to ignore the fact that Dahyun was probably hammered in their apartment.

...

The final straw came during chuseok. When Dahyun was nursing her fourth glass of cheap whiskey and Mina was trying everything in her power to keep Dahyun's addiction a secret. But Dahyun's increasingly loud and rowdy behavior was starting to put a damper on the night and getting on everyone's nerves.

"Babe, can we please just go." Mina begged, tugging on Dahyun's sleeve softly as she tried to escape Sana's glare.

"Don't even start with me Mina."

"Dahyun, not here."

"Mina."

"Dahyun," Chaeyoung cut in, looking between the couple, "you alright?"

"I'm fine!" Dahyun slurred, pointing a finger in Mina's direction, "someone is just being a killjoy?"

"You're drunk Dahyun." Tzuyu offered, trying to diffuse the situation.

"Well Mina's a fucking whore so what's the difference." Dahyun slurred and the whole room went silent, "Don't think I don't know you're fucking your boss. Why else would you stay at work all the time."

"Because I don't want to come home and deal with this!" Mina screamed back, angry tears threatening to spill from her eyes, "You're always fucking like this! You fucking drunk."

"What'd you call me?" Dahyun grabbed Mina's upper arm. Big mistake. She was immediately shoved back several feet, stumbling to the ground as Sana stood between her and Mina, glaring down at her.

"Get out of my house."

"Sana-"

"Mina, quiet." Sana demanded, "Kim Dahyun, get the fuck out."

Apparently not wanting to fight, Dahyun nodded and stumbled out of the house, slamming the door behind her. The rest of the guests just sat there watching the door, not really knowing what to do.

"Is this who you're dating?" Sana asked lowly, turning to Mina, "Does she put her hands on you?"

"No, she just had too much to drink-"

"Mina, if something is going on you need to tell me. I'll kill her, just tell me."

"How often is she like this Mina?" Momo questioned, a bit softer than Sana, but Mina could head the anger dripping from her tone as well.

"It's not-"

"Don't lie to me Mina."

"Guys we are okay, she's just having a rough time at work and-"

"Leave her." Sana stated. Mina opened her mouth to protest, but Sana beat her to it, "No, if she's going to treat you like this, you need to leave her. You don't deserve that. Sometimes, you can't fix people."

"Wait-" Tzuyu interjected, "Dahyun has a problem, we shouldn't just abandon her."

"So you want Mina to stay with that?"

"I don't know. But- we can't just leave her. She has a problem doesn't she."

"She's fine."

"If you leave her now, you're giving up on her." Tzuyu offered, and it seemed like the room split into three opinions.  
Momo and Sana; that Dahyun was at fault.  
Chaeyoung and Tzuyu; that they shouldn't abandon Dahyun in her time of need  
Jihyo, Jeongyeon, and Nayeon; neutral

And Mina felt like she was being pulled in two different directions.

...

Sana got the call at three in the morning. A barely understandable Mina, screaming about how Dahyun was unconscious and wouldn't wake up. She calmed her sister down, as Momo called the ambulance and they took off in a mad dash to the hospital.

"Mina!" Sana called out, running into the empty waiting room. The girl turned around and looked at her older sister. She looked exhausted, an emotion on her face that Sana just couldn't place.

Her voice came out shaky and barely there, "Sana."

"How is Dahyun? Is she going to be alright?"

"Sana, you were right. I can't fix her." Mina's bottom lip trembled as she tried to keep herself from falling apart. She was failing though, as her voice got more and more hysteric the more she continued , "I mean, I tried so hard. But I can't fix her. I think I caused her to be worse. Do I need to leave her? What should I do? If something bad happens to her, I couldn't live with myself."

Grabbing the younger, Sana pulled in the now sobbing Mina into a hug. "Don't say things like that. She will be fine, she can get better."

"I think this is the end. I love her so much, but I can't do this anymore." Mina sobbed, clutching onto Sana's shirt. The older sister could only close her eyes and make sure to hug Mina tight. "I can't."

"Mina!"

Momo came running into the room, a slight hint of a releaved smile on her face, "She's okay, the doctors said she is going yo be fine!"

"She is?"

"Yes, you don't have to worry. She is checking into rehab, and she'll get help."

Sana watched as all the adrenaline rushed out of Mina's body, her eyes immediately getting heavy as the pure weight of her stress hit her.

.

"I can't do this Dahyun."

That was not the words Dahyun was expecting to spill from Mina's lips when she visited her for the first and last time at her center. She wasn't expecting much, just not this. And she became desprate quickly.

"Mina, I'll get better, just please- don't leave me."

"Da-"

"No!" Dahyun almost yelled, looking up at the lawyer with tears in her eyes, "I'm going to rehab, we can get through this. And you can stop working so much-"

"Are you blaming this on me?"

"No- but I never see you anymore. Just Mina, please. I love you."

With baited breath Dahyun waited for Mina to tell her she loved her back, but the girl's jaw just set. She blinked a few times before standing up and walked out of the room, not before stopping in the doorway, "Goodbye Dahyun."

It was unfortunate really, that Mina had picked that specific moment to leave.

She got only five minutes away from the center, just outside of the Sana's store when she veered off into the opposite lane.

Momo heard the horrendous crush of metal, peaking out into the road, eyes widening when she say Mina's crushed blue Subaru outback. She ran out, nearly tripping over herself as she sprinted over to the car and saw Mina hunched over, limp.

She raised a shaking hand to her mouth as she tried to open the crushed door desperately, screaming, asking desperately if there was a doctor around or for someone to call the police. The driver of the other vehicles seemed fine, stumbling out of his own vehicle and tried to calm down Momo.

But Mina wasn't responding, and she had to wait until the ambulance arrived.

Once again, Momo was beyond nervous.


	7. Chapter 7

"I'm home!" 

Mina walked into the house, trying to keep an ear out for any sort of movement in the household. She kicked off her shoes and made her way to the kitchen finding it empty and no plate left out for her. 

That was a bit odd. 

Maybe Mina had really pushed Sana this time, had over stepped her boundaries. How was she supposed to know? She'd apologize when she saw her again. 

After grabbing a small bowl of ice cream she floppped onto the livingroom couch, her head absolutely throbbed after what Dahyun had told her. And she was left with the indecision if it actually was better or worse to know. 

The car ride home had been completely silent, save for some of Dahyun's music playing in the background. Neither girl knew what to say or where to go from here. Knowing that shifted her perspective of Dahyun, but also opened her eyes a bit. Maybe there was something else going on, an underlying factor that Mina never saw. 

Who knows. 

She finished her ice cream and practically threw it into the sink, rinsing it off and threw it into what Sana called the 'drying rack' (the dishwasher). She took the time to stare at the picture frames once again. 

Right after her accident, they felt fake. Like someone had photoshoped her into these photos, and this was just some sort of game. But now, they felt a little more tangible. A little more real. 

"Mina?"

Startling her fron her thoughts, she turned around to see Sana and Momo standing there looking at her with a curious expression. She offered a shy smile, nodding in hello to them as they shugged off their own coats and let themselves into the house. She followed behind closely, watching as they set out a container of food on the counter, affectionately marked; Mina. 

"We got you something, we weren't sure if you were going to eat with Dahyun or not." Momo explained, and Mina declined eating for now, tucking it away for later. She didn't have an appetite anymore. 

Mina could've smacked herself, because she never noticed how tired the couple looked. Sana walked around with her shoulders hunched, like she was carrying the weight of the world constantly. The stress of Mina, the store, and everything else seemed to weigh on her, and Mina could see it clearly now. 

Momo had deep bags under her eyes from repetitive nights of no sleep. She knew Momo had nightmares, she didn't know what about, but she had heard the woman wonder around the house at the wee hours of the morning. 

It made her wonder how she never noticed this before. "Sana, I'm sorry-"

"I know, I am too." Sana cut off, letting out a tired yawn. 

"Dahyun told me everything."

"She did?"

"Yeah."

Sana sent Momo a look, who just shrugged. Sana nodded back, before turning her attention back to Mina, "Do you have any questions?"

"Were we close?"

"You and Dahyun?"

"No. Me and you."

Mina watched as Sana clenched her jaw, trying to swallow down some emotion that threatened to bubble up, "Yes. Very."

"I'm sorry, I ruined us."

"You can't ruin us, we just need to meet eachother again."

...

What awoke her later that night, she wasn't entirely sure. But there was a soft sound in the house that Mina decided to follow, escaping the cold of her house and walked down the hallway until she was standing in front of the bathroom door listening to the sounds inside. 

Gently she pushed the door open, just a crack so she could peek inside. 

Her gaze was caught on Sana sitting on the floor, a picture frame in her hands and tears streaming down her face. She could tell Sana was trying to stay quiet, choking and trying to muffle broken sobs with her hand. Sana over the picture frame before looking up, and Mina wasn't sure who her sister was talking to. Maybe their parents, maybe god? But Sana spoke with such a venom in her tone that Mina sincerely felt bad for who it was directed at. "Why? Why her?! Haven't I lost fucking enough!"   
That seemd to spiral the woman into another loud cry, clutching the frame to her chest, "Why her? Why? Why did you have to take her too?"

Sana lowered the frame once again, and this time Mina could get a glance at the photo. It was the one from the hallway leading into the kitchen, one of Mina's personal favorites. It was at Mina's graduation, the mentioned standing in between Sana and Momo wearing a big grin and holding both her diploma and bouquet of flowers in her hands. To her right was Momo, a wide smile across her cheeks too, just hints of tear stains from earlier when she was overcome with emotion as Mina walked across the stage. Sana was to her left, not facing the camera, but watching the pair with such a tenderness in her eyes, an emotion Mina wouldn't dare place a name on. Something so gentle, so absolutely in love. 

Just as gently as she opened the door, Mina closed it again. Granting Sana the privacy to grieve. She stood there, hand still on doorknob listening to increasingly unrestrained sobs. 

Now that she knew what happened, maybe she could understand Sana. She was overprotective, and a bit annoying. And treated Mina like a stranger. But Sana had lost everything, and Mina was partially at fault. 

Sana had lost her parents. Caring parents that just wanted their daughters to feel loved and succed in life. She lost a mother who would listen to her problems, and make sure she felt loved. She lost her father who'd give her piggyback rides, and treated her like she was every star in the sky. 

She had lost her home. Fleeing to a new country in a desprate attempt to escape the debt that followed in the wake of her parents death. A place she didn't know the language or the culture. Where she had no money, and no plans. 

She had lost her dreams. Dreams of owning a studio with the woman she loved. Teaching the art she loved. Maybe even Mina could've started teaching with them, she was always exceptionally talented and patient. 

But it was okay, because she had Mina. Her baby sister. And while Momo was equally as important to her, there was a difference between Momo and Mina. They shared blood and a backstory. 

And then Sana lost Mina too. The bright bubbly baby she had raised torn up and degraded into the empty hallow shell that was standing in the hallway. 

So Sana needed to grieve for her losses. 

And she cried and wailed, for things that were lost and wouldn't come back, like a small child. Mina just stood in the hallway as Sana cursed whoever was above, and asked why her. What did Sana do to deserve this. Mina could've turned the handle again, opened the door and offered some sort of comfort. But she caught Momo in the corner of her eye, watching with a sad expression. She shook her head gently, and Mina nodded. 

She released the handle and walked over to Momo. The woman just slung a hand around her and gave her a gentle squeeze. Momo frowned, looking back at the door,"Let's give her a few minutes alone. She needs it."

Mina nodded, letting Momo usher her away from Sana's broken sobs and wails, crying hysterically about how she was alone. The irony was, she needed to be alone to cry that she was alone. 


	8. Chapter 8

"I made the right choice," Dahyun concluded for the fifth time that night, pacing in the living room as Chaeyoung and Tzuyu sat on the couch watching her. "I did, right? I told her everything. That was a good idea right?"

"Yes." Both of her roommates groaned, hearing this monologue again. They tried to be understanding of Dahyun, that she was still a bit unsure of telling Mina.

They knew she wouldn't admit it, but she liked Mina back in her life. She liked seeing her while getting coffee and going to work with her. And she maybe had messed it up. Again. Mina had been yet to contact her after Dahyun's confession, and going on two days, Dahyun was starting to get a bit anxious.

"I shouldn't even be worrying about her. I should just focus on myself and my recovery. I have an AA meeting tonight anyways."

"Yup."

"She broke up with me, I don't need her."

"You're blocking the TV."

"Tzuyu at least pretend to listen!" Chaeyoung chastised, placing a chip into her mouth as hey both focused intensely on the television. Dahyun looked like she was about to argue back, but the doorbell ringing cut her off. She walked over to the intercom, and eyes widened.

"Fuck!"

"What?"

"Mina's here!"

"Huh?"

"Why?"

"I don't know!" Dahyun exclaimed, "should I let her in?"

"Uh, yeah? Duh."

"Okay! Okay!" Dahyun buzzed her in, and in a few seconds Mina was walking through their front door as the three women stared at her. She was wearing a brown winter jacket, and a knitted hat with a furry pom pom on the top. Her cheeks a rosy pink, raw from the cold.

"Hi."

"Hey."

"Can we talk?" Mina asked, eyes shifting down to where Tzuyu and Chaeyoung were observing the duo. Dahyun nodded, pulling Mina into her room and shut the door.

The girl took no time getting herself comfortable on Dahyun's bed, shrugging off her coat and sat down, waiting for Dahyun to sit next to her. Dahyun sat next to her and they both just stared ahead, quiet.

"Everything you told me was true?" Mina asked, voice calm and even.

"Yes."

"How are you then?"

"Hm?"

"Have you been better?"

"I've been sober for a year." Dahyun said, a proud smile settling on her lips. It had been a hard fought year, and she nearly gave up a few times. Moving in with Chaeyoung and Tzuyu had been essential, relying on the girls when she couldn't rely on herself.

"Are you going to stay sober?"

"Yes."  
There was something definitive in Dahyun's voice that made Mina believe her. Finally turning towards Mina, Dahyun sighed, "Mina-"

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry. About all of it."

"It's oka-"

"No, it's not. I just, I have a lot of mental baggage and stuff. And yeah that's not an excuse. But I didn't just ruin my life, I ruined yours." She sighed, "I blamed you for leaving, but- I was the one who pushed you away. I was so angry at you for leaving, but it was my insecurities. That you'd see how fucked up I was- am. And you go."

"Are you still angry?"

"No."

"I'm not angry either."

"You should be."

"Maybe. But you can't change that, and I can't either. Character development is a thing. Redemption."

"But does everyone deserve that?"

"Not everyone, but you do." Mina smiled, "I can remember you. The real you. Before it got bad, before your addiction got out of hand. Just you, your smile, and how we were."

"And that's still me?"

"Yes."

"Do you still want to make me fall in love with you?"

"I'm not sure." Mina admitted, nervously fiddling with her hands, "I had to do some thinking, and-."

"And?"

"I need to focus on my family. They're suffering," There was a tremble in Mina's voice that tugged on Dahyun's chest, "I don't think Sana is coping well."

"Okay."

"I'm not giving up on you though."  
That took Dahyun a bit off guard, as she whipped her head around. Mina didn't seem to mind, just continuing on, "I want to help you."

"We really shouldn't be together."

"Maybe, but we can still be friends."

"Friends." Dahyun tested the phrase on her lips. They had never been that, friends. She nodded. "friends."

...

Momo noticed Sana was playing music again in the store. It was late, and there were no customers, but still. It's been a while since Sana played her music, softly flowing from her phone behind the counter as she restocked shelves and Momo wrote down inventory in their book. In silence.

It wasn't that Momo didn't want to talk. It's just she didn't know what to say. It was funny, she knew Sana so well, so in depth, but she didn't know what to say to her now. So Momo just elected to hum along with the music. She didn't know what to say to Sana anymore, and quite honestly she could feel the woman slipping from her a little bit. She chalked it up to Mina, but maybe there was something she was missing. She could talk to her about it later.

The bell above the door rang, and Mina walked in, a bright smile on her face. Momo smiled back at her, her mood being lifted by just the sight of Mina walking in. Sana seemed to as well, putting down the box she was carrying, as Mina said something to her and she nodded. She and Mina took a seat on the ground in front of the counter. "Mo, you wanna sit with us too?"

Momo just smiled, walked wordlessly over to a fridge, retrieved three drinks and a few snacks, and set them down in their makeshift circle on the ground. Sana grabbed her drink first, opening it, then instinctively opening Mina's and handed it to the girl. Mina was always weak, and could never open her own bottles. Momo didn't think Sana realized this, and Mina didn't seem to either. She relaxed into Sana's side, letting her lover play with her hair.

"You look tired Mo." Sana commented, no judgement, just an observation. But there was a vulenerbility to it, allowing Momo to elaborate on why. To release everything in her head. 

And Momo agreed. She couldn't remember the last full night of sleep she got. The last time she didn't wake up in a cold sweat. It was the same every time. Every damn time.

It always started with a crunch. Loud, and one that made every hair on Momo's body stand on it's end. Then she'd look up and see Mina's crushed blue Subaru Outback. The thing was mangled, destroyed, twisted. Momo would trip over a box on the floor, landing with a thud as she tried to race out of the shop. She'd make her way out, and run over to the car, pounding on it's door. It smelt of rust and gasoline.

Then she'd look inside. Mina, slumped over in the driver's seat, head resting against the steering wheel. Bits of glass had embedded itself into her skin, causing small streams of blood to run down her arms, face, sides. Momo would try to pull open the door, but it wouldn't budge, the metal too bent to allow it open. It wouldn't stop her from trying, reaching her hands through broken glass, ignoring how it scraped her arms as she tried to wake Mina up. Cradling her baby's head in her hands through the window, being separated by the metal, sobbing apologies for not being able to open the door and desperate cries for her to be alright.

It always ended differently. It had to, her mind had to keep Momo on her toes. Sometimes Mina would turn her head and look at Momo, suddenly fourteen again, crying out in agony, "help me. why aren't you helping me? oh god, i'm dying. Momo do something! I don't want to die!" Sometimes Momo would be ripped away from the car by police men and fire fighters, as she had to watch as they pulled Mina's still body out of the wreckage.

Simply thinking back to that made Momo feel like she was going to puke. The room felt too hot for her liking, she swore she could hear the crunch of metal outside their store once again, and could smell rust and gasoline. She closed her eyes, trying to erase the image out of her head and focused on how Sana's fingers ran up and down her back.

"I'm not tired." Momo lied through her teeth, "We were all just up late last night."

Neither of Momo's girls seemed to believe her. Both raising a skeptical brow at her in almost perfect unison. Sana was willing to push it off to another time, Mina not so much, "You're lying."

"I'm not."

"You are. You should get that checked out. I'm serious Momoring."

The familiar nickname slipped from Mina's mouth, and it alone was enough to make up her mind. It felt like a punch in the gut, winding her and left her completely defenseless. How could she say no to that.

"Okay." Momo nodded, "I'll get it checked out."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Mina nodded, satisfied with that. She took a sip of her drink, opting to lean onto Sana as well, much to the surprise of the older girls. They didn't complain. Instead Sana just intertwined her fingers into Momo's, rubbing her thumb along her knuckles.

"I haven't been sleeping either." Sana admitted, "too much on my mind."

"Like what?" Mina hummed.

"Bills, you, what was on the news."

"I heard you last night."

"You did?"

"Do you do that often?"

"I used to. Not anymore."

Mina nodded at that, and Sana could feel the tension release from her body. Momo popped a snack into her mouth, passing the box over to Mina. "These were your favorite in highschool."

"They were?"

"Yeah," Momo chuckled, "You'd take a box everyday to school. How you never gained weight is beyond me."

"They're good."

"I don't like them." Sana commented, "I used to joke with you and say your taste buds are broken."

"I have a great palate!"

"Yeah, your coffee order says otherwise."

"Hey!"

The sisters started bickering playfully. Sana listing out reasons, Mina dutifully denying them.

It felt good, it felt like home again. So Momo just closed her eyes and listened to them, sleep following closely behind.


	9. Chapter 9

The request seemed simple enough, as Momo sat down to eat breakfast with her girls. She had heard the giggles from the kitchen as she laid in bed, trying to chase after a few more minutes of precious sleep. If the current state of the ruined kitchen was any indication, the girls had a really good time. Momo mildly regretted not getting up and joining them.

“Can you bring Mina to her doctor’s appointment?” Sana asked casually, bringing another spoonful of rice to her appointment, “They just want to double-check that she won’t die.”

“Sure.” Momo smiled, “What line is it off of.”

“Actually can you take the car?” Sana asked, “It’s the middle of February and I don’t want you two walk thirty minutes from the hospital to the nearest station.”

“Why can’t you drive her?”

“I need to do stock at the store, the appointment is only going to take maybe forty-five minutes. Please Momoring?”

So that’s how Momo and Mina sat in the car, as Momo tried to calm herself down enough to put the key into the ignition. It was a struggle because her hands were shaking so bad, and Mina noticed. 

“Momo?” Her voice was soft, calling out gently but she sounded miles and miles away like she was submerged somewhere deep underwater and Momo couldn’t distinguish what she was trying to communicate. “Momo, what’s wrong?”

The smell of rust and gasoline physically burned, singeing her nostrils trailing up in waves squeezing her head. Momo just weakly shook her head, not even being able to find her voice to assure Mina that she was fine. Tentatively she raised her hands to the steering wheel gripping onto the black wheel as if her life depended on it. The air felt thick, wrapping around her lungs, drowning her, leaving her gasping for breath. 

“M-momo?”

Momo tried to look over at the girl, to control her mind, but she was stuck staring at her white knuckles gripping the wheel. Well, she wasn’t really looking at them. Flashes of Mina’s mangled blue Subaru Outback flashed through her mind, the sound of the car alarms ringing through her ears, making her dizzy and disoriented. What stuck out was the image of Mina hunched over in that goddamned car. How her pale skin clashed with the blood running down her skin, how no matter how much Momo wailed and cried she wouldn’t respond. How she was dead. Momo knew she was dead. She had to be dead. The blood, the smell, her limp body, the sounds-

A touch brought her flying back to reality, she could vaguely feel Mina try to shake her arm. “Momo, are you okay?”, she looked over to see Mina’s big concerned eyes. She wanted to tell her it was okay, and just start the car.

But then blood started to rundown Mina’s face, her face had that abhorrent expression on it, and the smell of rust and gasoline felt stronger. It had Momo fumbling with the door handle, before launching it open and her body shortly after. Momo took maybe two steps away from the car before that awful feeling in her stomach started to rise, and her lunch ended up in the middle of their driveway. It brought her to her knees, heaving until there was nothing left to come up and she was just crying as she heaved. She could feel Mina behind her, slowly rubbing circles on her back, trying her best to calm Mina down. 

They stayed like for who knows how long, until Momo had a grip on reality once again, and was left closing her eyes and relaxing into Mina’s soft touch. 

“I can’t drive you.” Momo finally spoke, her voice didn’t even sound like her own.

“It’s okay, let’s just go inside.”

“You need to go to your appointment.”

“It’s okay. How about we just go inside and talk about what just happened?”

“Call Dahyun, ask her for a ride,” Momo spoke, firmly not allowing Mina any room to argue. A tone she used to use on the teenager when she was being particularly difficult. When Mina removed her touch and stiffened up, a part of Momo hoped she remembered why, even if it wasn’t Momo’s proudest moments.

“Okay.” She felt the girl get up and take a few steps away, pressing her phone to her ear. She listened in on the conversation, trying to take her attention away from the rancid smell of her sick on the pavement before her. 

“Hey,” 

“Hey, everything alright? There was a bit of shuffling from the other side of the phone.”

“Yeah, I’m okay, but um- Momo just freaked out.”

“Why? “

“I don’t know. She needs to drive me to my doctor’s appointment, but when we got in the car she started breathing heavy, and like wasn’t there. Then she threw up. Are you doing anything?”

“No, do you need a ride?” 

“Yes, please.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

“See you then.”

Mina clicked the button on the phone, slowly turning back to Momo, “She’ll be here in ten minutes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I can’t help you.”

“Momoring, it’s okay,” Mina assured, and Momo felt her chest tighten as Mina missed the implications in her words. Not that Momo expected her to understand. Just a part of her wished she did. 

They sat out in the cold, until Dahyun’s beat-up grey honda rounded the corner and she called for them to come in. Mina took her spot in the passenger seat, but Momo surprised anyone when the door to the back opened and she took a seat, quickly buckling in and closing her eyes. The drive was quiet, Dahyun hummed along to the radio while Mina took glances back at the pale Momo who refused to open her eyes the entire ride. Dahyun parked at the office and the three of them sauntered into the practice. Mina left at some point, abandoning Momo and Dahyun an awkward silence in the waiting room.

“Be honest with me,” Dahyun spoke first, “You’re not okay, are you?”

.

There was a few beats of silence once again, “I’m fine. My stomach isn’t feeling good.”

“You look tired”

“I know.”

“If you need to see someone, I have a few people I can give you the names of.” Dahyun offered. She played with the hem of her shirt, “I know you probably hate me like Sana, but I do still care about you three. If you’re struggling with something and just need to talk, my number hasn’t changed.”

It felt strange, hearing that come from Dahyun. Someone she despised, someone she knew put her hands on her baby, broke her heart, tainted her. But Momo nodded anyways, and quietly thanked Dahyun for the offer even though she would never dream of taking it in a million years. “How have you been Dahyun?”

“Better.”

“That’s good.”

“How about you?”

“Fucking horrible.”

Dahyun knew that was the truth, the past year and a half must’ve been hell for both Momo and Sana, and the guilt started to creep up again, that she was at the root of all of this. The villain. 

“How’s Sana?”

“The same, and she pretty much hates you as much as she did a year ago.”

“I figured, do you?”

“Do I?”

“Hate me?”

“I don’t hate you, I am cautious about you coming back into Mina’s life. I mean, last time I saw you Mina was in a pure panic because you almost drank yourself to death.”

“It’s a bit ironic then, isn’t it? That we are reuniting at a hospital.”

Momo never got the chance to answer because Mina had slipped back into the waiting room, a small smile on her lips and told them she was all set and ready to go home. They clambered back into Mina’s car, and got about twenty feet before Mina requested, “Can you drop us off at the subway station?”

It was easy to read why she said that. 

And Dahyun had no complaints, dropping them off with a smile as she drove away. The duo entered the subway, finding a thankfully empty cart and sat down next to each other. Momo didn’t dare speak, because she knew what the conversation would turn into. So she just waited until Mina’s head slipped onto her shoulder, and a hand grasped her own rubbing her thumb of Momo’s knuckles. 

What did surprise her was when Mina started singing. “My Love by My Side.” 

She used to sing that to Mina when they first moved here. She used to sing it while Mina and Sana made dinner together, laughing about whatever troubles Nayeon and Jeongyeon would get into at school. When she would come home from college and do her work on their kitchen table. When Dahyun made Mina cry and sleepover their house for the night. Mina must’ve remembered it somehow, deep in her memories. It made Momo smile, but also made her want to cry.  


''The day all my loves leaves me

is together with you behind your laughter

but I wonder if you are lost

in immature desire

and all those many lingering feelings.

Please do not tell me you are.

Time is running toward estrangement

but it seems you are not coming

despite your promise.

On my way back home,

forcing myself to smile,

why does the road home seem 

so unfamiliar and so far?

When I feel, through those tender branches,

that I'm alone,

will it bring back memories of you

that hurt me so much (even now)?

My love, my dear,

please stay by my side.

You're my one and only,

nobody else in the world but you.

If you too leave me

when the burdens are too much to bear,

whose arms will I nestle in when I stagger?''


	10. Chapter 10

“Fancy meeting you here.”

Mina looked up from the counter when she saw Nayeon stroll into their convenience store, a playful smirk on her face. She sent her a small nod as the woman grabbed a bag of chips and placed them on the countertop. Mina rang the chips just like Sana had taught her, she didn’t even have to say the price because Nayeon had already handed over the exact change and opened the bag. She sat on the counter, holding out a chip. “Take one.”

  
After accepting it she popped it into her mouth, raising an eyebrow at Nayeon, "What's up?"

  
"Do you need a job?" Nayeon inquired, "We have a spot open at the café if you don't want to work here."

  
After considering it for a few seconds, Mina shook her head, "I'm good, thank you."

  
"The offer is still there if you change your mind." Nayeon popped another chip into her mouth, "And do you want to hang out soon? Like all of us?"

  
"All of us?"

  
"Us three, you, Sana, Momo, Dahyun, and her two kindergarteners." Nayeon smiled, "It's been a long time since we did that."

  
"I'll have to convince me Sana, I don't think she's talking to Dahyun since everything happened."

  
"Yeah, no worries," Nayeon took a peep at her phone, "It's almost 3AM, do you want me to walk you home?"

  
"No it should be fine," Mina have her a reassuring smile, "The morning shift should be here any minute."

  
"You sure?"

  
"Yeah, I'm sure."

  
Nayeon nodded and sat up, placing an overdramatic kiss on Mina's cheek, "Alright call me with that answer about hanging out, okay?"

  
"Okay." 

  
And then Nayeon slipped out of the store, just as fast as she entered. The part-timer entered a few minutes later and Mina left, relieved to finally go home and get some sleep. She took a few steps outside before an arm wrapped around her shoulder sending her screaming and turning to the direction of the body, seeing one Kim Dahyun staring back at her. "Don't do that!"

  
"Surprise!"

  
"I hate you, did you know that?" Mina grumbled.

  
"Of course, I'm here to walk you home."

  
"I can get home by myself."

  
"I know, but isn't company fun?"

  
"You're right."

  
Dahyun smiled as they started walking down the streets, it had snowed earlier in the day blanketing the asphalt in a soft white blanket that seeped cold into her shoes. The two of them walked in the quiet, before Dahyun realized Mina wasn't at pace with her anymore. Dahyun turned slowly to see Mina had slowed her pace, a hand raised to her head eyes closed. "What's wrong?"

  
"What?" Mina opened her eyes, and sent Dahyun a weak smile, "It's nothing, I just have a headache."

  
"You do?" Without having to be asked, she walked in front of Mina, crouched down and motioned for her to hop on. "Let's go."

  
"No, it's okay."

  
"C'monn."

  
"I might be a little heavy." The older warned, cautiously clumping onto Dahyun's back, and wrapped her arms around the girl's neck. Dahyun stood up, and started walking down the street again. She felt Mina rest her chin on her shoulder, smiling a bit to herself. "Why are you so late anyways?"

  
"I had AA, then I decided to go for a walk. I was actually going to your store to talk to Sana."

  
That shocked Mina a bit, "what?"

  
"I think there is something wrong with Momo."

  
"Me too."

  
"Then you need to talk to her and find out, before something happens."

  
"I don't know if I can. Momo isn't the type to open up about her feelings."

  
"Hello? How do you think we got into this mess. Learn from our mistakes and talk to her."

  
"I'll tell Sana about what happened in the car."

  
"That's my girl." Dahyun smiled, adjusting Mina up on her back, "You're heavy."

  
"You little shit." Mina growled playfully, pretending to take one of the arms she had draped around Dahyun's neck and choke her. 

  
"Okay I take it back," Dahyun laughed. 

  
She heard Mina go quiet for a few seconds before speaking once again in her ear, "This reminded me of something. When I was little Sana, Momo, my Mom, Dad, and I went to a fair. I had too much candy and had a stomach ache, and my Dad carried me home like this."

  
"Did you remember that just now?"

  
"Yeah." Mina smiled, "I wonder how my dad is doing."

  
"He- uh- he died a long time ago Mina."

  
Mina stiffened up before relaxing once again, nuzzling her face into Dahyun's shoulder, "I forgot."

  
"My dad died too." Dahyun spoke softly, "Right before I went to college."

  
"He did?"

  
"Mhmm, it was something we bonded over when we first met."

  
"Do you miss him?"

  
"All the time. Do you miss yours?"

  
"I think I will the more I remember him."

Dahyun hummed at that, and went mum. She listened to how the snow crunched under her feet as she walked, she listened to Mina's soft breathing in her ear. Mina spoke again, "Nayeon wants us all to hang out again soon."

  
"I don't know about that."

  
"Why?"

  
"Last time we did that, it didn't end well."

  
"But it's different now, you're not like that."

  
"That's true, but I don't know."

  
"At least think about it?"

  
"Okay."

  
…

  
The small noise Sana made when she plopped down on the bed next Momo was adorable, drawing a chuckle from the older. Sana let out a groan, turning on her side to koala hug Momo. "Tired?"

  
"You have no idea."

  
"Get some sleep then."

  
"But I wanna stay up with you," Sana whined, pouting up at Momo. The woman chuckled and pressed a kiss on her lips. "How did Mina's appointment go?"

  
A lump filled her throat as she thought back to earlier in the day, "It went good."

  
"Anything exciting happen?"

  
"No."

  
"At least I didn't miss much, please tell me you didn't get food without me."

  
"No, I would've grabbed you something anyways.*

  
"That's why I love you."

  
'Tell her. Just fucking tell her.' Momo mentally chastised herself, screaming silently wishing Sana would be able to hear. 

  
"Sana," Momo started, trying to swallow whatever shame she felt, "I need to tell you something."

  
She felt Sana adjust herself so she could look up at Momo, and the woman looked down at her as well, frowning when she could see Sana trying to fight off sleep to stare at her with those big concerned eyes. Then the guilt started to seep in, how could she sit there and complain that she couldn't sleep, that she was steadily becoming overwhelmed when Sana was probably just as tired as she was, if not more. Sana was probably exhausted, she had an extremely long day. "What's up, Momoring?"

  
So Momo just flashed Sana a smile, and placed a kiss on her forehead, "I love you."

  
"You're so gross." Sana laughed, soft and sweet love from her words. It felt horrible, to see the honey dripping from her eyes as she placed a gentle kiss on her lover’s shoulder. Sana’s eyes fluttered shut slowly, the long hours of labor finally starting to catch up with her. Momo just trailed a finger up and down her spine, humming softly the same tune Mina sang to her earlier. 

  
Momo knew her place, she knew that she was basically the glue holding the household together at this point. That Sana probably would’ve gone crazy, Mina would’ve been more confused and lost. Her girls needed her. It’s always been like that since day one. 

  
And she knew she was loved. It wasn’t like she felt like she couldn’t talk to Sana about whatever was happening to her, what has happened to her for the past year. How she basically isolated herself from her friends, her art, only going to work, going to see Mina then sleeping. Maybe Sana wouldn’t understand, but she would at the very least listen. But the words didn’t ever want to come out. Maybe it was pride, maybe it was the fact that Momo herself didn’t understand what was going on. But they always were lodged in her throat. 

  
So Momo retired to watching Sana sleep. She could see the woman fall deeper and deeper into a slumber, as the muscles on her face relaxed and her lips opened slightly. She listened to her deep breathing, and how the clock on their bedside table ticked away. Around three, maybe four she heard Mina enter the house, quiet but tired footsteps trailing down the hall into her bedroom. She closed her eyes as she felt Mina slip into their bed, curling up next to Momo and her soft snores quickly joined Sana’s. 

  
Momo’s girls. 

  
Momo would do anything for her girls. So she smiled and tried to close her eyes as well, all the words she longed to scream out lodged in her throat. 


	11. Chapter 11

"Momo, Mina, hurry up we're going to be late!" Sana called from the bottom of the stairs, waiting impatiently as the girls started to shuffle around upstairs.

A few minutes later she heard footsteps unmistakably Momo staggering into the kitchen, she looked, well awful. She just wore one of Sana's oversized hoodies, and a pair of leggings with her hair tied up. But the bags under her eyes and just how gaunt her face looked was unsettling. She offered Sana a tired smile, placing a kiss on her cheek, "Jihyo's expecting us at six right?"

"Mhmm. It's already five forty-five."  
Momo just smiled and wrapped her hands around Sana's waist, resting her head on her girlfriend's shoulder. "You look tired, did you sleep last night?"

"Yeah, maybe I'm just getting sick or something." Momo shrugged, "It's just going to be us three, and them, right?"

"I don't know," Sana hummed, "I assume so, who else would be there?"

"I have a few ideas."  
Before Sana could respond she heard Mina walk down the stairs, wearing a jacket that neither of the older two recognized and a dopey smile on her face as she looked at her phone. Her eyes snapped up and that smile faded away when she locked eyes with Momo, the older quickly looking away. "I'll wait outside."

Before anyone could say anything Momo was out the door leaving Sana and Mina in the house.

"Are you two okay?" Sana inquired, taking a note of the weird tension between the two.

"Momo freaked out yesterday."

"Huh?"

"She went to drive me to my appointment, and she just started shaking and breathing heavy. Then she ran out of the car and puked. It was scary." Mina explained.

"Was she sick?"

"No, I think there was something more going on. I kept calling out the her, but it was like she couldn't hear me. It was scary."

Sana took a few seconds to process this information, before sighing, "I'll talk to her after we get back, thank you for telling me."

Mina just nodded and went to leave, before turning around, "Are you okay?"

"Me?"

"Yes."

Sana thought about it for a few seconds, before nodding, "Yeah. I'm good."

"Truly?"

"Yes."

The youngest nodded at that before taking a glance at the clock, a nonverbal signal that they should probably be heading out. Sana agreed, so she just wrapped an arm around Mina's shoulders as they walked out to Momo who greeted them and the three made their way to Jihyo's place.

Jihyo owned a small apartment above the coffee shop, it wasn't all too big but it would fit the six of them for the night. Usually everyone would come over Sana and Momo's because it was the biggest, but Jihyo said she wanted it at a neutral location, whatever that meant. By they arrived, and Jeongyeon and Nayeon were already there hanging out on the couch.

"You guys, come here!" Jihyo called from the kitchen, as the three Japanese girls shuffled in, "Try some of these brownies I made."

Never one to turn down some food, Momo made quick work of a corner piece, nearly shoving one down Mina's throat as well.

Then the door opened again.

"Sorry we're late," Chaeyoung called out, as three pairs of feet shuffled into the house, "Dahyun's sponser loves to talk, and apparently doesn't understand the concept of time."

"You instigated the conversation."

"Tzuyu, you're just jealous Tim the ferret doesn't love you."

"He does!" Tzuyu insisted, and Dahyun's distinctive giggle rang throughout the house. It made all the hairs on the back of Sana's head stand up.

The three of them walked into the kitchen, stopping when they spotted the other three. From the looks on their faces, she was pretty sure none of the girls had a clue that Momo and Sana would be there as well.

Sana was the first to speak, "What are they doing here?"

"We just wanted to hang out all together-" Jeongyeon tried to difuse the situation, a calm tone.

"Did you consider that maybe we wouldn't want to do that?" Sana snapped, eyeing down Dahyun from the other side of the room. The girl looked like she wanted to curl up into a ball and just hide.

"Sana-"

"I'm leaving." And with that Sana grabbed her jacket and slipped out of the house, slamming the door behind her. She didn't only got into the yard before she heard the door rip open and angry steps follow her down.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Momo snapped, tugging on her jacket as she followed Sana out into the yard.

"Leave me alone Momo."

"No, what the fuck was that?"

"Why the fuck are they here?"

"Because Jihyo invited them. And this is Jihyo's house."

"Well I don't wanna fucking see her. Jihyo should know this."

"Don't know if you realized Sana, there are other people than you. She's Jihyo's friend, she's Mina's friend."

"Did you forget everything she did to her?"

"I didn't, but she is different now. She got help. I know you have your reservations, but I can't understand why you at least try to be civil for one night."

"You wouldn't get it, you're not blood."

"Yeah?" Sana shivered at the anger starting to seep into Momo's tone, "It wasn't you that would stay up with Mina when she couldn't sleep, it wasn't you that helped her through her first gay panic, it wasn't you that did her laundry, that picked lice out of her hair, that would sit at the table with her as she cried in frustration over her homework. I don't know a goddamn thing about math, but I say there. Not you. Me. So don't you dare say for one second that I don't understand because I'm not blood. That's low, even for you."

"Then why do you want her to be around that drunk!"

"I don't really! But what the fuck else am I going to do? We talked about this already. And honestly there are worse things Mina could be doing than reconnecting with Dahyun."

"How? She almost killed Mina."

"No, Mina almost killed Mina."

A silence settled over the yard, as Sana took a deep breath. Trying to clear her head so she didn't say something she regretted too much. "People like her don't change."

"You don't think I fucking know that? Do you not remember when I used to have to drag my dad passed in from the yard because if I didn't he'd freeze to death. I know these things Sana."

"Then you should know better-"

"She got help! That counts for something."

"Look at what she did to-"

"I'm not telling you, you need to forgive her. But you need to be civil with her, for Mina's sake. She's just starting to try and connect with us, and Dahyun's the only tether she has to us."

"I'm going home." Sana snapped, walking past Momo, who looked too tired to try and chase her down. Too tired to fight.

Later that night when her and Mina finally returned home, Momo tried to wrap her arms around Sana's waist like she usually would. But Sana would pull away, obviously still pissed. Before drifting off into sleep. But when she woke up the bed was empty, and the sky was still dark. Momo was probably sleeping on the couch like she usually did when they fought, and knowing the woman she didn't bring a blanket. Sana grabbed a spare, and made her way downstairs. But she didn't see Momo's mass sprawled out on their sofa, she was sitting up in the dark.

"Momo?" Sana questioned, turning on the light, eyes squinting as she tried to adjust to the new brightness. She focused on the woman sitting on the couch, foot tapping, chewing on her thumbnail, and she looked lost in thought. Her eyes had a far away look to them that sent chills up Sana's spine, "Momo? Why aren't you in bed?"

The woman's eyes snapped up and met Sana's concerned ones, anger starting to pool in her stomach as Sana looked at her so delicately. Like she'd fall apart at any second. She was fine. Momo was fine. Everything was fine. 

"I couldn't sleep."

"Mina told me what happened yesterday. I know we fought, but Mo, we need to talk about this."

"What's there to talk about?"

"Momo, Mina told me you started panicking then you threw up. This is serious."

"I'm fine Sana."

"You're not!" Sana started to raise her voice, before taking a deep breath and calming down a bit, "If you were we wouldn't be having this conversation. I need you to tell me what's wrong."

"Is Mina asleep?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Is she asleep?"

"Yes. She is."

"Good." Momo nodded, seemingly making up her mind and got up suddenly rushing past Sana and upstairs, before stomping back down and walked out of the house. Sana trailing closely behind. "What are you doing?"

That's when Sana realized Momo had Mina's old withered baseball bat, the one she used to leave early with Sunday mornings to go play with Nayeon and Jeongyeon, clutched in her hands.

Momo didn't respond, she just stopped infront of her and Sana's shared grey Honda Civic.

"Momo?"

Then Momo swung, hitting the hood of the car not only creating a loud crunch but denting it. She hit it again and again, gaining in momentum and anger with each swing. She moved to the side knocking out the windshield, then the side mirrors. Sana heard the door open behind her and Mina slipped out, looking horrified at what was happening.

The look on Momo's face was downright terrifying, she looked somewhere lost between agony and complete anger as she mangled the car.

 _"_ _Momo stop!"_ Sana called out, trying to switch to their native language in an attempt to get through.

"I'm getting rid of this piece of shit!" Momo stopped swinging to turn towards her girls. "I hate this stupid car!"

"Momo!"

"Stop it!" Momo wailed, "Stop it! Just shut up! You can't- I don't- She was- Fuck!" And Momo was beating their poor car again.

She took a few steps back when she heard Mina's meek voice ring out, "That's enough, let's talk."

"I hate you." Momo spat.

"Momo!" Sana called out, a silent warning not to talk to their youngest like that.

"It's the truth! I hate what you did to me!"

"Momo."

"I hate you! I hate you, Mina! Are you fucking listening to me!" Momo screamed so loud Sana was afraid someone would call the cops. She took a quick glance at the girl who was staring at Momo, shellshocked as the older screamed at her. Momo's face was turning red and the veins were starting to pop out of her neck, "Why'd you drive into traffic?! Why?! Cause that bitch doesn't love you?! Is that why?! You did it on purpose! I saw you!"

"You saw her?" Sana cut in, shocked. Not once in the entire year had Momo ever relayed that piece of information to her, or anyone for that matter.

"I can't sleep! I can't eat! All I see is that image of you! And you're dead! I know you're dead! How can you be alive!" Momo wailed, dropping the bat with a large clunk as she tried to cover her eyes. The smell of rust and gasoline started to overwhelm her again, "I saw you! I saw you! I- I- Godfuckingdamnit! I hate you!"

"I'm sorry." Mina stammered, and Sana felt her heart break when she saw the guilt starting to pool in Mina's eyes. 

Sana realized quickly when Momo started kicking the car, that she needed to calm Momo down or she was going to hurt herself. She ran up to the woman, wrapping her arms around her and pulled her back and away from the car just holding on tighter as Momo fought against her to run back to the car. She just cooed, and hushed until Momo eventually slumped in her arms loud sobs echoing into the night. She lowered the pair to the ground, never letting go, as Momo started to sob and heave.

"You're okay. I'm right here." She tried to comfort, racking a hand through Momo's hair. "I'm right here."

"It was so horrible."

"I know baby."

"I-I love her so much, and she was dead. She was bleeding and she wouldn't move."

"Momo we need to bring you to the hospital."

Maybe Momo was just to exhausted to argue, maybe she knew Sana was right. She just nodded weakly, before bursting into another round of tears, "What have I done."

"Momo-"

"I just got her back and I told her I hated her. What if she does it again because of me? What if it was because of me the first time?!"

"Momo, look at me." Sana gently cupped the sides of Momo's face waiting patiently until the woman locked eyes with her, "Mina is okay. She doesn't hate you. She never did. This isn't you fault, it was an accident."

"She tried to kill herself."

"We don't know that."

"I just want it to stop Sana, I don't want to remember it anymore." Momo rambled, and Sana could tell she was starting to get worked up again, she just rubbed tears away with her thumb before sparing a look over at their now destroyed grey Honda Civic.

"Mina, can you call Jihyo? Tell her we need her to drive us to the hospital."

She heard Mina shuffle away before coming back a frown evident on her face, "She won't pick up."

Sana couldn't believe the words that came out of her mouth next, "Call Dahyun."

"Okay." And the next time Mina returned she nodded at Sana, a silent confirmation that Dahyun was indeed on her way.

A few minutes later Dahyun pulled up still dressed in her pajamas, and everyone quickly entered the car. The ride was thick with silence, save for Momo's quiet sobs. 


	12. Chapter 12

"Don't go. I don't wanna go alone." Momo pleaded, seemingly ready to burst into tears for the umpteenth time that night. 

She just looked so small, so fragile that Sana almost didn't have it in her to give in to the doctor's request for her to leave the room so Momo could check into the emergency psychiatric ward. She had lost track of how many hours they had been here, and how many breakdowns Momo had had since they arrived. She would calm down for a little bit before hysterically crying and grasping onto Sana, desperately asking to leave the room and go to the waiting room to check on Mina. 

Due to her condition the doctor suggested an overnight observation, at risk that Momo may be a risk to herself and others. And as much as Sana wanted to disagree, her mangled grey honda civic served as proof that these claims were indeed valid. 

Sana gave the doctor a quick look and she nodded in understanding, walking out of the room. As soon as the left Sana could still see her outline through the glass no doubt listening in on their conversation. 

"I don't want to stay here! I want to go home!" Momo pleaded once again, pulling on Sana's hands.

"Baby-"

"Please."

"Baby, you need help. Professional help."

"I'm okay, It's okay. Let's just go home."

"Momo, I love you too much to let you suffer." Sana gave her a watery smile, moving her hands to caress her face softly, "How about you stay here just for a few days, you make a plan with them, they give you help. And then when we have a plan, and Mina and I can help you, you, Mina and I can go out to dinner. A really expensive one where we don't look at the prices and just order."

"We can't do that, the store-"

"Fuck the store. Okay? How does that sound? We'll get some food when all of this is over."

"I need to talk to Mina first, I don't want her to think that I hate her."

"I'll let her know. And you can tell her yourself after we get your help. Okay?"

Momo finally relented, letting go of her death grip on Sana, "Okay."

So Sana did the only thing she could do, and offered her a smile. Gave her a gentle kiss, and left with one more promise to come back. It took everything in her to walk out that door.

_..._

_"I'm leaving!" Sana called into the house, trying as fast as she could to tie her shoes. The nine-year-old finally tugged them on and took a peek into the living room. Her mother was folding laundry with Mina sitting in her lap, the girl had just turned four-years-old and still extremely clingy. The girl just giggled and tried to grab the clothes as her mother folded them, seemingly being the funniest thing in the world._

_"Okay, just be home for dinner." Her mother smiled, waving a quick goodbye as Sana blew her a kiss, rushed out and grabbed her bike from where it sat in the driveway. It was a beige bike that road a bit crooked after her dad had run it over with his car one day after she left it in the driveway._

_She peddled to the street where Momo was waiting on her own bike, a grin on her face and chocolate coating her cheeks. "Sana! Guess what!"_

_"What?"_

_"There is a festival in the park and Hana said they are selling ice cream! And she gave me money!"_

_"Woah really?" Sana gasped as Momo proudly held up two five-dollar bills. Momo handed her one and stuffed the other into her own pocket._

_"Let's go!"_

_And just like that the two girls were racing down the streets of Osaka, taunting and teasing each other when the other would start to fall slightly behind. They arrived at the park, taking their time to look through the various booths and the ceremonies going on, before finally reaching the ice cream truck._

_They got their cones before peddling away, finding a quiet corner for the two of them to relax as they ate._

_"Remind me to thank Hana for this." Sana smiled, holding out her cone so Momo could take a lick. "I'll steal some of Mina's birthday money to pay her back."_

_"Don't steal from Mina!" Momo gasped, "She's too cute."_

_"She's annoying."_

_"Hana's annoying."_

_"You see we're in agreement."_

_They finished their ice cream just as the sun started to set, letting the girls know it was time they started getting home. The road down the streets until they were in front of Momo's house. It wasn't as nice as Sana's, it didn't have the same homey feel at Sana's. But it had Momo. Everything was okay as long as it had Momo. But something seemed very off the second they arrived._

_Momo's dad laid passed out in their yard. A dark bottle laid next to him, nearly empty. Momo let out a groan when she saw, dropping her bike and running up the yard, "Fuck."_

_Sana watched as Momo bunched her fingers into his shirt, trying with all her strength to drag him into the yard. So naturally, Sana let her bike fall to running up and helping her. It took a lot of effort, to drag the man in, and when they were finished Momo practically pushed her out the door._

_The smell of whiskey off that man started to lay the seeds of hatred inside Sana's mind._

_..._

_"Okay next letter." Sana urged, looking back up at Momo. She wanted desperately to smack the smirk off of the fifteen-year old's face, or kiss it. She wasn't sure._

_"K."_

_"K?" The younger asked, disbelief dripping in her tone. She looked back down at the game of hangman:_

_WILL YOU GO ON D TE WITH ME?_

_"You already know what it says!" She whined, holding up the piece of paper, "Why do you- It's literally the vowel that everyone guesses first. You know what it says! Are you dumb?"_

_Momo just smirked and raised an eyebrow, not having to say a word._

_"You just want me to say it. Huh? Are we done playing hangman now?" Sana pouted and slammed down the piece of paper, "Will you go on a date with me?"_

_"Yes, all you had to do was ask."_

_"Hairi Momo!"_

_..._

_They say life changes suddenly. One day you can be at the absolute top of the world, the next at the lowest. Nothing is guaranteed. Well nothing except death._

_And Sana found that out all too well._

_The call came as she watched Momo and Mina play their games. Fourteen-year-old Mina in all her moody glory would open up when Momo sat next to her and challenged her to a game of Mario Kart (which she knew she would lose). Momo was always gentle with Mina, ever since she was a baby. It was of the countless things Sana loved about Momo. How her lips would twitch the smallest amount when she concentrated on not falling off the road, how she would shove Mina in an attempt to try and break her concentration. They looked cute, awfully cute. It made Sana wonder what Momo would be like with a kid of their own one day._

_The cry of her phone ringing snapped her thoughts away, as she raised it to her ear. "Hello?"_

_"Is this Minatozaki Sana?"_

_"Yes? This is?"_

_"Hello, I'm calling from Osaka Central Hospital. At around 6:49 PM there was a vehicular accident including your parents. Unfortunately, they did not make it. We offer our deepest condolences..." They said something after that, but Sana didn't hear it._

_The phone simply slipped out of her hands, clanging to the floor grabbing the attention of the other two girls. She looked white, as if she had seen a ghost and a dazed expression spread across her face._

_"Onechan?"_

_"Sana? You okay?"_

_"Mom, and Dad. They're dead."_

_Sana doesn't remember much. She remembers Mina's expression when the realization set in when they arrived at the hospital. She remembers Momo's sister offering to take Mina to her house for a bit while Sana got the funeral preparations in order. And she definitely remembered Momo. Who didn't leave her side throughout it all, she helped in more ways than she could ever thank her for._

_But most of all, she remembers him._

_She never learned his name. She just learned fear. When he showed up at her house a day after the funeral, practically trashed the place and demanded that Sana pay back the money her father owed. She grabbed onto him trying to stop him from smashing picture frames, only to be pushed back, glass shards embedding themselves into her hands. He turned over furniture, and took their TV and left with a promise. That next time it wouldn't just be their material items that would be destroyed, it would be Mina._

_And she believed him. She believed him dearly when Mina came home sobbing the next day, clearly freaked out but wouldn't talk to Momo and Sana. She knew Mina saw him. She could smell his stench of cheap whiskey on her as she brushed past them grabbed a bag from her room and said she was going to ballet class._

_It scared her so bad, that she would randomly start shaking, trying to come up with some sort semblance of a plan. And then it hit her, she could leave. They wouldn't follow her. Or at least she hoped. So she took all the money out of their joint account and bought a store in the middle of Seoul. The account Momo suggested with complete trust in Sana. The account that Momo and Sana poured money into trying to save up for their dream studio one day. When Momo found out there was a lot of yelling, a lot of empty threats, and a lot of broken trusts._

_But Momo stayed._

_And she smelt like lemons, a sweet scent that Sana took refuge in. So she buried herself in her work, and flew herself over to Korea with a promise to have everything ready. But she forgot a little fact._

_That Mina hadn't come home in days._

_She was just so busy, so distracted. But Momo noticed, she noticed damn well when Hana called her and told her to bring Mina home. That Mina started vomiting in the middle of class because she overworked that bad, and that Mina had taken camp in an empty practice room._

_So she made her way to the studio, waving off the sad look Hana gave as she made her way into the practice room mildly impressed at how Mina was still going at it even if she looked like she was about to passed out. The girl saw her and scowered, turning off the music, and taking a seat, "why are you here?"_

_Momo sighed, taking a seat next to Mina, and simply offered her the water bottle. The younger girl took it and raised it to her lips, trying to catch her breath. "Hana called me."_

_"Mmm."_

_"She said you've been practicing hard."_

_"Yeah."_

_"Want to show me?" Momo offered._

_Mina tried to get up, she really did, but her body wouldn't let her. So she just shook her head. "Not right now."_

_"Sana's moving us to Korea."_

_"Huh?"_

_"Us three, we're leaving this place."_

_"What about your family?"_

_"Hana is an adult, she's got everything under wraps." Momo smiled and playfully nudged Mina, "I gotta keep an eye on you kiddo."_

_"I don't want to go."_

_"Me either. But we don't have a choice." Momo sighed and shrugged a bit. She let her head rest on the wall behind her and closed her eyes, "You know I love you right?"_

_"Should I tell Sana?" Mina teased._

_"You two are my girls, this is all going to be okay."_

_"And what if they won't be?"_

_"They will."_

_…_

_Things got better._

_Momo and Sana watched as Mina grew up, growing into herself. And when she finally arrived at their house with a girlfriend, it was about damn time. (Sana doesn't count the two months Nayeon and Mina dated in high school, it was fleeting and not really serious.)_

_Dahyun was nice. Momo liked her a lot from the get-go. She greeted her with a smile and an ushering in, quickly telling the girl all about the Netflix series she had watched he day prior. She sat the girl down on their red leather couch, and got to know her. That's just how Momo was, comforting, welcoming. It was what Sana adored about her. Sana wasn’t like that, she could never just let herself be open to complete strangers the way Momo could. So, she just sipped her cranberry juice and watched as Dahyun started to talk about her classes and just what exactly her intentions were with Mina._

_“She seems nice.” Momo hummed that night, laying her head on Sana’s shoulder looking up at her with those big eyes that Sana was infatuated with. “Maybe Mina is onto something with this one.”_

_“That’s true.”_

_“Hana called yesterday by the way,” Momo relayed, “Apparently my dad isn’t doing to good these days.”_

_“Is his liver still giving him problems?”_

_“Yeah, but it’s his own fault anyway.” Sana agreed wholeheartedly with that statement, it was always out of her realm of knowledge why Momo would put up with all the bullshit her father put them through. He was a drunk, and he had hurt her so many times. Maybe this was karma, some retribution of all the lives he ruined. But Momo was still sad about it, and if Momo was sad about it Sana could find some sort of sympathy for the situation. Momo just laid a kiss on her neck, “I’ll have to call her tomorrow and tell her little baby Mina finally has a lover.”_

_“She’d like to hear that.”_

_“Things are just going so well right now, the store, Mina, you, fuck Hana is even getting ready to get married. This was all worth it, I love you.”_

_“I love you too Momoring.”_

_But Sana couldn't shake the smell of cheap whiskey on Dahyun's breath. It made her stomach crawl, and her head pound. But Mina seemed happy, and Sana loved it when Mina was happy. But she didn't trust Dahyun one bit._

_..._

_Sana was fucking right._

_"She won't wake up! Sana! What do I do! She's not- Why- She's not breathing!" Mina wailed through the phone, a tone of panic in her voice that Sana had never heard before. It wasn't exactly what she expected when she picked up the phone at two am. But it was the situation she had to deal with._

_"Mina baby I need you to calm down, I can't understand you." Sana tried to comfort, shoving Momo awake. She awoke, giving Sana a questioning look at the other pointed at her phone and then motioned for her to call 911. "I think Dahyun overdosed."_

_"She what?! Oh my God! Dahyun wake up!"_

_"Mina, listen to me." Momo took the phone from Sana, talking slowly and calmly to the panicked girl, "Turn her head to the side, okay? And she's completely unresponsive?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Okay, Sana is calling an ambulance. You're doing so good Minari, just wait until the ambulance comes."_

_"I'm scared Momo."_

_"I know," Momo cooed, gripping the phone a little tighter when she heard Sana slip out of the room with her phone in hand wanting to call the ambulance without upsetting Mina more. "She's going to be okay."_

_"What if she's dead. Oh god."_

_"She's not dead, just make sure to keep her turned on her side."_

_"I'll kill myself if she's dead. I can't have another person leave like this."_

_"Mina!" Momo all but yelled, taking a peek at the door to see if Sana heard, "Don't talk like that."_

_"Momo-"_

_"Just relax, okay? She's okay, you're okay. Everything is going to be okay."_

_Sana slipped back into the room, tugging on a sweatshirt, and threw one at Momo. She mouthed that she called and they were on their way. There was nothing they could do but wait._

_..._

_Sana got the second call that changed her life when she was out Christmas shopping, she was holding a reindeer ornament up and the phone to her ear when the news was relayed that Mina had gotten into a crash. She rushed to the hospital as fast as she could, almost crashing herself a few times with how fast she was going. It didn’t matter anyway, the outcome was still the same, that Mina had been rushed into emergency surgery and had slipped into a coma. That they had no idea when she would wake up again, or if she would wake up again._

_She almost laughed at the poetic irony, losing her parents and sister the same way._

_And life became muddled and gray over the next month as they tried to stay afloat, when the medical bills started rolling in and they had to get rid of their part-timers. They took shifts during Mina’s visiting hours, sometimes overlapping in rare moments they could both be with the girl. This was one of those times, when Sana made her way to the hospital room a small cactus she had picked up from the gift shop in hand, but there was something off on the vibe of the room when she arrived._

_She stopped, watching the scene inside unfold before her, offering Momo just a little bit of privacy._

_The oldest hated how Mina looked, so small, so weak, being kept alive by wires and tubes sticking out of her skin. She just wanted to shake the girl until she woke up, or she cracked open an eye with a sly smile and announced this was all some sort of prank. But Momo knew. She knew it wasn’t._

_She gently touched the side of Mina’s face, cringing at how cold the girl was underneath her touch. She looked like she was sleeping, just laying there and doing nothing. That was the worst part, how still she was. How she was literally right in her fingertips yet there was nothing to grasp onto, nothing to do or say that could fix what was happening. It made her feel like she powerless, like she was nine again trying to drag her Father into the house. And it had to be Mina, why did it have to be Mina. It was so unfair. So damn unfair._

_Sana heard the first cry start to escape Momo, pained and strained as the girl covered her mouth and sunk to the floor next to the bed. She shook and sobbed, grasping onto the sheets covering Mina, pleading for her to wake up, or just do something. But Mina didn’t so she cried harder. And Sana wasn’t stupid, she knew that Momo cried at night when she thought Sana was asleep, she knew that Momo was lost in thought whenever she stared blankly into her coffee in the morning. But Momo was a private person, and she brought things up only when she wanted to, getting annoyed and defensive other tried to get her to open up. So Sana just looked away and blinked back a few of her own tears and let Momo grieve._

_She sat down outside the room and listened to the love of her life sob for her younger sister. The anger starting to creep up inside at her, for whiskey tinted breath that took everything away from her. That was to blame for every single thing that went wrong in her life. She covered her ears as Momo’s sobs started to increase in volume. And she has no idea where she went wrong, she moved here to keep Mina safe, she helped Momo the best she could try to take care of her mess of a family, she tried to accept Dahyun for Mina’s sake. She tried so hard and nothing worked. Nothing worked. So she let it fester into a grudge, one that she had no idea how she would ever resolve._

_..._

"She asleep?" Sana asked, plopping down into the seat next to Dahyun. the waiting room was empty save for her and a passed out Mina, they had been waiting for quite a few hours and Sana knew Mina was probably already quite tired. Her stamina had been bad ever since she woke up.

"Yeah, it's been a long night."

Sana hummed in agreement, gently massaging her temples trying to fight off the impending headache that would inevitably wash over her. She looked over at Mina, taking refuge in the way her lips parted slightly, or how her nose twitched as she slept. Even if she was on Dahyun's shoulder. Sana wanted so desperately to tear the woman away from her sister. But she didn't, she just sighed, "Can you take her home?"

"Yeah? Do you need me to bring you too?"

"No, I'll just get a cab."

Not wanting to argue, Dahyun just hummed a soft agreement. 

"What's a sponsor?"

"Huh?" Taken off guard, the lawyer snapped her head into Sana's direction. She just shrugged, motioning for Dahyun to answer her questions.

"You said you were late earlier because your sponsor talks a lot, what is that?"

"A sponsor is like someone who helps you get better and treatment. They're supposed to talk you down when you feel like relapsing."

"Oh." Sana went quiet, tapping her foot, letting an awkward silence fall over the two of them.

After a few minutes of that Dahyun finally decided she had enough of it and woke up Mina, getting the girl to maneuver onto her back before she attempted to carry the sleeping girl to the car.

"Oh Dahyun?" Sana called as they were about to leave. The girl turned around, confusion written over her face.

"Yeah?"

"You smell nice."


	13. Chapter 13

The wave of disappointment that ran through Sana as she checked her phone yet again hurt more than it probably should have. She was a strong girl, she had lived through so much more than this. So why did it ache so much not to have any news on Momo?

The blank screen stared back at her, mocking her, daring her to do something. The thing was, there was nothing for Sana to do but wait. It had been two days, one more day and Momo would be released. Finally, she would be back in her arms, where she could hold her and never let anything bad come even remotely close to her. Just one more day, she could do it. She went to slip it back into her pocket, but she bumped into someone before she could do so causing her phone to clatter to the ground. The person offered a quick apology, before continuing to rush on by.

Sana went to pick up her phone grumbling at her person as she made her way to the shop. The sun was just coming up, and people were just started to make their way to work, so it was time to relieve Mina of her shift. Sana felt bad, asking the girl to do a double to cover for Momo’s absence. Mina didn’t mind. 

Her ears perked up as soon as she entered the shop. Mina’s belly laughs filled the place, a sound Sana hasn’t heard in so long. She rounded the corner to see Mina doubled over in laughter, trying to wipe the tears away from her eyes as Nayeon just sat there and watched her laugh. They both seemed to be having a good time, as Nayeon picked up another candy from her package and attempted to throw it into her mouth, but her aim was horribly off because of the laughter that racked through her body. That caused another round of laughter from Mina, and the cycle started over again. The older sister found herself laughing as well, the laughter infectious. 

“ _Onechan_ ,” Mina wheezed out the sight of Sana finally registering in her mind. _“Is It time already?”_

Sana’s heart did a little somersault at this. Not once since she had woken up has Mina spoken to her in their native language. She just nodded back, and apparently, it was hilarious because Nayeon and Mina broke off into another round of laughter. 

“Sorry I didn’t realize, Nayeon came to visit me and we got a bit carried away.” Mina tried to explain but her tone was so incomprehensible Sana let out a chuckle as both girls started to make their way out of the shop, not before Mina gave Sana a small hug and a goodbye.

Sana just stood there and watched her sister walk out, not the stranger who had possessed her body ever since she woke up. Her sister. Nayeon and Mina were still laughing as they passed by the glass front of the door, pushing each other slightly and playfully. 

Oh, how she wished Momo could see this too. 

…

_Knock Knock Knock_

“What the-” Mina felt her heart jump from her chest as she looked at her open door. There was no way that the knocking she heard could be coming from there. Another knock sent her turning around to the window outside of her room, nearly jumping back when she saw Dahyun smiling back at her. She approached the window and opened it up, “What the hell are you doing up there?”

The lawyer was sat on the small piece of roof right outside of Mina’s window that hung over their small porch, “C’mon.”

“That looks dangerous.”

“It’s not,” Dahyun banged her foot down a few times to test the strength of the roof, “See?”

With a sigh, Mina grabbed a sweatshirt and squeezed herself out the window onto the small area. Dahyun passed her can of lemonade from her now discarded backpack, relaxing back on her arms and looking over the city. Mina cracked it open, taking a sip.

“How are you doing, you know, since..”

“Momo?”

“Yeah.”

“Sana misses her a lot, I can tell.” MIna answered. And it was true, she could see it in the way Sana was constantly checking her phone, in the anxious smile she held on her face, the way that she didn’t even sleep in their bed. 

“How about you?” Dahyun asked softly, laying down to gaze up at the stars that lined the sky, “You were really upset the other night.”

She wasn’t wrong. Mina was really upset about it. How Momo just screamed that she hated her, that she caused this. It felt like something was ripping her apart. Maybe she did cause this, and this was her punishment. But seeing Momo in the state she was in, it was scary. Sana’s grey car now sat in the driveway, unusable, with no real plan on what they were going to do with it. Sana had started taking the bus around (She hated the bus with a passion). 

“I was. It hurt a lot. I know Momo has done a lot for me, I can see it in the pictures in the halls, and the smile on her face. I just want her to feel better.”

The lawyer nodded, as Mina laid down next to her both of them watching a few snowflakes start to drop from the chilly February sky. “Do you think she’s going to get better.”

“I hope, Sana might break without her.”

“And you?”

“I barely know her. I’d like to get to know her again.”

“That’s reasonable.”

“I have a question for you too.” 

“Ask away,”

“Why did you- Why did you start drinking?”

. 

The other girl went quiet at that, before sitting up. Dahyun took a deep breath, looking out across the night, bringing her can of lemonade to her lips. There was a pain in her eyes as she looked conflicted about if she wanted to speak or not.

It reminded Mina of something. A memory living just beneath the surface of what she knew, scratching and clawing to be released from its cage to fruition. One where Dahyun sat the same way, her face a bit younger, her hair a silver color, bringing a bottle to her lips in the same position that Dahyun was. It was a mirror, this sick twisted version of deja vu. 

Mina’s head absolutely ached.

However, she stayed quiet, as Dahyun finally opened her mouth, “My father left when I was ten. He had found someone new, had a kid and didn’t need us anymore. He just packed up and left, we had no warning. My brother didn’t care that much, he was in the army by then so he was gone too. But my mother was destroyed, and I had to try and pick up the pieces.”

It hurt so bad Mina thought she was going to throw up. 

“I tried my damn best, I really did. I had to be there for her, or else no one would. But- No one was there for me. No one except alcohol. I used to spend nights in high school just getting wasted with stolen liquor from my mom. She didn’t know or at least didn’t care to say anything. And it just continued, then the damn bastard died. I lost it. I don’t remember how much I drank. It was a lot. But I met you, and you were sweet and wonderful and like me. But I couldn’t stop, I didn’t want to stop. I was just so insecure, and it was all I knew. It must’ve killed you, you must’ve been so hurt by me.” Dahyun paused to take another shaky sip, “I just want to be better.”

“You are better.”

“I’m not, not yet. One day.” With that Dahyun turned and flashed her a smile, and Mina felt like her head was going to rip in two. She had sat here with Dahyun years ago and talked about the same things, but it was different from last time. Dahyun wasn’t as angry. She found herself returning her smile, taking a sip of her own lemonde. “One day Mina, I’m telling you, this can all pass. I’ll own a law firm and work in one of those big towers over there, you can help take care of Sana and Momo with the shop. And we’ll be happy. It’ll be good.”

“It’ll be good,”

There looked to be something else Dahyun wanted to stay, the woman started to look down at her lap and fiddle with her hands, “Look, Mina- I know you said that-”

_Knock Knock Knock_

For the second time, Mina jumped in fear turning to see Sana standing in the closed window scowling at the two on the small patch of roof. She opened the window, barely giving Dahyun a glance and motioned towards Mina.

“You. In. _Now_.” And with that said, Sana shut the window again, disappearing from sight but no doubt still watching them hidden in the shadows of Mina room. Dahyun let out a small laugh, looking over affectionately at where the sister had disappeared to. It was strange, Mina expected Dahyun to be upset with Sana, but she seemed like she expected it. A hint of something that Mina couldn’t exactly place. 

“You should go in, I don’t want Sana to throw me off the roof if you don’t go inside.” Dahyun half-joked, picking up their now empty cans and placed it back into her backpack. She zipped it up and threw it over her shoulder.

“Do you want to come inside then? She can just deal with it.”

The lawyer seemed to consider it for a second before shaking her head, “It’s okay, I don’t want to invade her space.”

“It’s my space too.”

“True- however, it’d be disrespectful.” Dahyun placed her foot on the small gutter about to shimmy her way down, “Goodnight Mina.”

“Goodnight Dahyun.”

The lawyer made her way onto the wet pavement, giving her a quick wave before starting to walk away. She suddenly stopped and turned around, “Oh Mina?”

“Yeah?”

Mina squinted at the sad smile adorning Dahyun’s features, the sense of nostalgia that Dahyun seemed to be exuding. It was comforting, yet isolating. A twisted happy, that was just so depressing. She saw Dahyun grip the straps of her bag just that bit tighter, “Nayeon’s a good person. Keep her around.”

And with that, she slipped out of the gate, and Mina watched her figure retreat down the street. Her head pounded as she did, the images of warm summer nights filling the space where Dahyun would slip her head back in and throw her an overdramatic air kiss before running down the street, Mina giggling at her antics. It calmed her a bit. They were happy. 

One more knock interrupted her thoughts, as she turned around to see Sana’s expectant eyes. Mina made her way to the window and slipped inside. She didn’t say a word to Sana and instead just laid on her bed, awaiting the onslaught of words that was inevitably going to spill from Sana. 

Yet it never came.

Instead, her bed just dipped as Sana crawled in as well, the older woman just nestled her face into Mina’s shoulder. Mina just waited patiently for her to say something, bringing up a hand to stroke down Sana’s hair.

“I wish you wouldn’t do this to yourself.”

Mina just hummed in acknowledgment.

“How is she doing?”

That took Mina by surprise. She looked down to see Sana looking back up at her expectantly. “Huh?”

“Dahyun only comes and lays with you on the roof when she’s upset. Is she okay?” Sana sounded a bit concerned, looking over to the window. “Not that I care, I’m just asking.”

“She seemed fine. Should I text her?”

“No, if she didn’t say anything she’s probably fine. Maybe the midget and the giant ass was annoying her.”

“Be nice, they were your friends too.”

“I miss Momo.”

“I know, but she gets out tomorrow.”

“How did I miss it?” Sana asked, her voice being the only sound in the entire room, “There were so many signs, and I missed it.”

“You were a little distracted.”

“That’s an excuse. I just wish I saw it earlier.”

“Sana, you’re okay right?”

“I’m- I don’t know.”

“We can get you help too.”

“No. We can’t.” Sana frowned, rubbing a hand over her face, “Therapy is expensive. And Momo is already going to have to go, and you should go soon as well. I can handle this.”

“That’s how Momo ended up not with us right now.”

That seemed to shut Sana up. It went quiet for a minute, only Sana’s soft sniffles sounding out (Mina was sure she was crying). “I’ll find the money somehow,”

_“I love you Onechan. It’ll get better.”_


	14. Chapter 14

“Sana, stop pacing. You’re going to wear down the flood.” Mina reminded for what felt like the hundredth time. 

The older eventually skidded to a halt, looking back at the younger who just looked up at her and waited patiently for her to take a seat. She sat down next to her, her leg bouncing as she anxiously waited for the moment that Momo would finally emerge from the two big white doors and finally into the waiting room. 

A conference with the doctors had already been completed, informing the sister’s just exactly what Momo’s mental state was. She had made progress in her few days checked in, she was nowhere near better, but it was a start. They had sat down and made a plan, already started a few referrals for therapy for the woman, and instructed Mina and Sana on what they could do to try and help the best they could. Now it was just a waiting game when Momo finally emerged from the ward and into their waiting arms. 

Sana was anxious, it was obvious enough to tell. How her head flew up every time the doors opened up, sinking back down in disappointment when it wasn’t the store owner. Her knee never stopped bouncing, it was rough. All she wanted was Momo back in her arms, safe and sound. Sana was a mystery. Truly. Mina just couldn’t get a read on her sometimes, she was a bit rude, very cold, and had walls up the size of the great wall. She was rude, and not someone Mina would have voluntarily put herself around in different circumstances. But there were moments like this or that one time Mina found her sobbing in the bathroom that really made her question where Sana was mentally. What had caused her to internalize this so much and make her how she is. But Mina couldn’t remember, and she hated herself for that.

It made her want to cry sometimes, how Momo looked her dead in the eyes and told her she hated her because of a decision that she couldn’t even remember making, or how Sana looked at her with this sad nostalgia, or Dahyun was always conflicted when it came to her. But she couldn’t fucking remember. She couldn’t remember any of it. Sometimes her head would feel like it was going to split in two, and she would catch fleeting memories of who she once was but that was it. That was it. 

The doors opened once again, and time seemed to stop altogether. Momo stood there, her hair down and wavy, her bangs brushed out of her face exposing her forehead for the first time Mina had ever seen, wearing the same clothes she had been checked in with. 

.“Momo!” 

Sana ran, bolting up from her chair and across the waiting room to where the woman had just emerged from large white doors. Momo just smiled and held out her arms, accepting Sana as the woman barreled into her wrapping her up so tight as if she let go for a second Momo would disappear. Mina watched from the sidelines, observing Momo’s gentle smile as she rubbed a hand up and down Sana’s back. The trembling of her older sister’s shoulders, as she clutched the fabric of Momo’s sweatshirt in between her fingers.

“Shh, It’s okay.” Momo cooed, whispering so low Mina almost couldn’t hear. 

Sana was sobbing now, incoherent and messy, “I’m so sorry.”

“Sana, it’s okay.” 

They stayed like that for a while. Until Sana had calmed down, and Momo had turned to her with a grin, “I was promised dinner.”

.

Dinner was nothing special. It was just a ratty old restaurant a few blocks away from where they lived, but Sana and Momo moved around the place with such a familiarity that led Mina to believe that maybe this was pretty commonplace for the two of them. They sat at a table, Sana clinging onto Momo while Mina sat on the other side, quiet. Momo was quiet too. Neither of them knew what to say. 

Sana had ordered all of Momo’s favorite foods, winking at the man who Mina briefly remembered to be Jihyo’s boyfriend. The food was laid out in front of them, and the three at in silence. Mina tried to busy herself with the food, but her stomach turned at the thought of eating anything. Her phone buzzed, finally giving her some sort of distraction from the awkward atmosphere. 

NAYEONIE

hows everything going with momo??

[6:45PM]

MINA

Awkward. But she seems better than the last time I saw her.

[6:46PM]

NAYEONIE 

that sucks :(( do you need me to come over tonight?

[6:46PM]

MINA

No, I think Sana would behead me if I tried to get out of this. Plus I need to try and talk with Momo.

[6:46PM]

NAYEONIE

ok, just text me if you need anything <3

[6:46PM]

Mina set her phone back down on the table, going to take another bite of her food, stopping midway when she saw both older women’s eyes on her. “What?”

“Who are you texting?” Sana’s face had some unreadable look on it, that Mina wasn’t quite sure what to feel about.

“Nayeon.”

That seemed to shock both lovers. “Nayeon?”

“Yeah.”

The two of them turned to each other with this look

_and Mina’s head fucking split in two._

_Sana had blonde hair and looked so much lighter, Momo had a short bob and that one hat Sana used to love. They looked shocked at what Mina had just said, before smiling. She could hear something next to her, it sounded like it was underwater. She turned her head to see a grey-haired nervous-looking Dahyun sitting next to her, gripping her hand under the table._

And then she was back. 

Well, kind of. She sprinted out of the restaurant, vaguely registering the stool she was sitting on falling, before busting out and spilled her dinner onto the sidewalk. It hurt so bad, it hurt so damn bad. Mina was left clutching her head as she slowly sunk down to her knees, a wave of nausea threating to come back up. 

A coat wrapped around her, the smell of some fruity perfume surrounded her, grounded her for a second. She felt a hand rubbing up and down her back, coaxing her that it was okay. The two sat like that for a minute, until Mina didn’t feel like she was going to die anymore. She turned around to see Momo’s concerned expression. The two sat with their feet hanging off the curb and onto the pavement. 

“Please don’t think I hate you.” Momo broke the silence first, never being one comfortable in silence. “I just didn’t know how to say what I’m feeling. I love you so much, and everything that happened is driving me crazy.”

“I didn’t mean to do this to you.”

“I know.”

“I love you too.” 

Momo smiled and took a brief look back into the restaurant at where Sana was watching them with anxious eyes. “I’m going to get better, for you two.”

“You need to get better for you Momo.” 

“For me?”

“Mm.” The two went quiet once again. “My head hurts.”

“Do you want to go home?”

“I’ll go by myself, stay with Sana, she really missed you.”


	15. Chapter 15

“I’m not sure how I feel about this one.”

“What? Why?”

Tzuyu shot Chaeyoung a look, before motioning to the scrawling ferret playground she had set up across their living room. It was a large ball pit, that Tim the ferret liked a lot ever since he was placed in it minutes prior, however, the pit did take up a rather large percentage of their shared living space. “Why? I can’t reach the couch.”

“You’re just jealous that Tim has a ball pit and you do not.” Chaeyound defended. 

“I can definitely assure you I am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not.”

“Are too!”

“Am Not-!”

“Are you two five? Holy shit.” A third voice cut into their bickering, causing both of them to divert their attention over to where Dahyun was curled up on the couch half-hidden by a mountain of blankets. 

“Are you okay dude?” Chaeyoung was the first to ask, hopping around the inflatable pit and to her side, Tzuyu the following suit but was slowed down as she almost tripped into the colorful pit of despair. “You haven’t moved from you’re cocoon for a few days. Tzu, when was the last time she moved?”

Seemingly thinking over it for a few seconds, Tzuyu snapped, “You went and visited the Myoui witch.”

“Hey! Be nice!”

“Sorry.”

Chaeyoung sent her another small glare, before turning her attention back to Dahyun, “Did something happen? Because I’ll go fight her for you this time, seeing as she’s not in a coma anymore.”

“No, nothing happened. I’m just stupid.” Dahyun mumbled, tossing a blanket over her face and shifted, making the whole pile quake and threaten to spill over. “I’m just so stupid.”

“Can I ask why you’re so stupid?”

A muffled response came back, cause the two younger to share a look of confusion. They didn’t have to wait long as Dahyun suddenly sat up, causing blankets to fall and spill around her, “You know I really thought for a second there I could have a second chance, but I was wrong.”

“Huh?”

“I know Mina is still in love with Nayeon, even if she doesn’t remember.” Dahyun declared, her shoulders drooping a bit. “I know they had an affair, I know she didn’t love me anymore, but I just thought for a minute that maybe now that Mina only remembered me she didn’t feel that way and I had a second chance to make everything right.”

“I thought we thought the affair thing was your paranoia?” Tzuyu questioned, remembering back to Dahyun’s suspicions a little over a year ago that Mina was sleeping with Nayeon. Both women had denied it when questioned, but there was no doubt there were at least some feelings on Nayeon’s end even if she never admitted it. “What sparked all of this?”

“I went to go visit her at work the other day and Nayeon was there and Mina was laughing. But it wasn’t that little giggle she does, no those belly laughs that she used to do when we first started dating. I just- I ruined it. I ruined us. I don’t get a second chance.”

The younger two went quiet at that, Chaeyound frowned, “You’re still in love with her.” 

It wasn’t a question, a simple statement, and everyone knew she was right. There was no hiding it, no sugarcoating it. Kim Dahyun still loved Myoui Mina. 

Tzuyu sighed, they were so fucked.

…

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

“Fuck.” 

Dahyun turned around with a guilty smile, her hands grasping around her still-warm coffee cup, as she had just exited Jihyo’s shop. Mina stood behind her, arms crossed and a small pout on her face as she threw the accusation, “What? Mina, I’m not.”

“Well, why haven’t you been responding to my texts?”

“I’m just busy at the firm right now. You know how it is.”

“Actually, I don’t.”

“Right,” Dahyun sighed, “I forgot.”

“Are you going to work?” Mina asked.

“No today is my day off-”

“Great so you can walk me to our store.” Mina smiled and grabbed Dahyun’s hand practically pulling the woman along. After a few yards, the younger seemed to regain her balance and was walking in pace with the other.

Mina decided not to comment that Dahyun was still holding her hand.

“Momo is back home.” Mina spoke.

“She is? How is she doing?”

“Better, I think. She looks better, and I think Sana is starting to get better too.”

“That’s good.”

“Why are you being so weird with me?” Mina asked, whipping her head towards the other, “You feel awkward.”

“I’m not awkward, you’re awkward.”

“Well if you’re so not awkward, then come over for dinner tomorrow.”

“I don’t know, last time-”

“Sana asked me to invite you.”

Dahyun paused, Sana asked Mina to invite her? Why? That woman hated her guts. Maybe it was a trap or a prank. Maybe Sana just wanted to invite her over to yell at her, or maybe she just wanted to-

“I think she wants to thank you for coming and helping the day Momo broke down. She won’t say thank you directly, but she says it through food.” Mina cut through her thoughts, providing a calming sense of reason. Dahyun nodded, trying not to focus on how Mina’s thumb would brush against her knuckles as they finally arrived at the store.

Momo was defintely back, anyone could tell by the loud music blasting from inside as Momo danced around and Sana tried to stock the store and ignore the girl. Dahyun watched as Mina looked over the scene inside with a smile.

“And I will always love you!” Momo sang along, incredibly loud and out of tune, but Sana seemed to enjoy it well as she stocked the shelves of the store. Momo approached behind her, slinging her arms around her waist, landing gentle kisses on the back of the younger’s neck as Sana giggled and tried to maneuver to be able to place the product on the shelves. She eventually gave up, and let Momo pamper her with kisses along her cheeks and shoulders from where she gripped onto her from behind. 

_“Onechan?”_

_Momo let her grip of the younger go immediately as they both turned with heavy blushes towards Mina. The girl looked between her sister and her sister’s best friend in confusion as she tried to decipher what was going on. “What are you doing?”_

_“You can’t tell Mom!” Sana looked to be on the verge of tears, and Mina was even more confused. “I’m serious Mina.”_

_“Okay?” Mina shrugged and walked past the two to grab her juice bottle from off the counter, “Are you two dating?”_

_“Yes, but you can’t-”_

_“-tell.” Mina made the motion of zipping her lips and gave her sister a smile and a wink before walking out of the room.”_

Mina took a step back from the window, gripping her head as waves started to roll through it, reaching her other hand out to grip onto Dahyun’s shirt.

“Mina?” Dahyun’s tone was laced in concern,” Are you okay?”

“My head hurts.”

“Let’s get you some medicine then.”

“No, it hurts. I can’t. Not now.”

“I know it hurts.” Dahyun tried to comfort as the woman started to cry, “It’s okay, it’s okay.”

Dahyun took one last look at the couple inside, completely unaware as to what was happening outside. Oh. Mina didn’t want them to see. So she sat the pair down, and let Mina groan and cry until she didn’t and was feeling better. She tried to assure Dahyun she was fine. 

Dahyun was still very concerned.


	16. Chapter 16

MOMO’S LOVER is calling…

Ripping her eyes away from the piles of paperwork covering her desk, Dahyun set her sights on the lit-up vibrating phone that sat a few feet away. Sana’s contact name, alongside a selfie the two had taken years ago, had filled the screen for the first time in a while. She picked up the phone taking a few seconds to examine the photo in a bit more detail. Dahyun was dressed in her college royal graduation robe, hat still on her head as Sana smiled next to her, her long black hair curled slightly and was wearing a blue dress with a flower pattern on it. Dahyun smiled a bit at it, taking in the sight. Then she clicked the accept button and held it to her ear.

“Hello?”

“Dahyun..” Sana’s voice sounded off, the way her letters seemed to mash into each other the loud talking behind her, “You answered.”

“I did. Are you okay?”

“I don’t know, I think so. I feel dizzy.”

“Where are you?”

“O’Conners.” Oh. Dahyun frowned, why was Sana at a bar? O’Conners was nice, they had pretty good drinks for a good price. But that didn’t explain why Sana was there. Sana who had never touched a glass alcohol in her life, who hated drunk people and loud parties. A pit started to form in Dahyun’s stomach. 

“What are you doing there?” Dahyun questioned, trying to keep her tone even and calm. 

“I don’t know.” Sana answered, a hint of sadness in her voice, “This made you feel better, I want it to make me feel better.”

That felt like a stab in the gut. “Are you okay? Do you need me to pick you up?”

“Please.” 

Dahyun was already up grabbing her coat from where it rested on the back of her chair and nearly bolted out of the office. She ignored Joohyun as the woman called for her, asking where she was leaving in such a rush.

After breaking countless traffic laws, Dahyun arrived, standing outside of the heartbreakingly familiar brown doors of O’Conners pub. It’s been a good year since she last stepped in here, and she felt a bit scared. What if she was tempted and couldn’t resist. What if this was what triggered a relapse. Maybe she should just call Momo to pick Sana up and wait outside. 

No.

Sana had called her. She called her for a reason. She had to do this. For Sana. She pushed open the door and took a few steps in trying to look for where Sana could be.

“Dahyun!”

She turned to see Jackson, the bar’s owner waving over at her a smile on his face. “It’s been a while, can I get you something?”

“No..no I’m good.”

“You haven’t been here forever man. How have you been? Did you finally propose to your girlfriend that used to come here for you?”

“No, I didn’t. We broke up. Have you seen a woman around?”

“I’ve seen a lot of women.”

“She has shoulder-length brown hair-”

“Jackson, can I get another glass of this?” Someone called from the other side of the bar, he offered her a sympathetic smile before quickly rushing off leaving Dahyun to try and find the drunk woman.

Surprisingly, Tthe woman was easy to spot. Slumped over on the bar counter, her head resting as she sleepily ran her fingers around the rim of her now empty glass. Pushing past drunken people, she made Dahyun made her way to the woman, taking the glass and moving it out of the way. “Alright Sana, It’s time to go home.” She knocked on the table a few times, trying to get the woman’s attention, “Sana, get up.”

“No, I’m going to stay right here.” Sana proclaimed, sloppily hitting her hand on the countertop twice. 

“What’s gotten into you?” Dahyun questioned, putting her hands on Sana’s shoulders tapping softly, “C’mon up. We need to go home.”

She attempted to raise her arms but was pushed back, Sana giving her a glare before resting her head back on the counter. Dahyun let out a small scoff, frustration starting to take hold. She almost didn’t hear Sana slur out, “Do you hate me that much? Do you really hate me that much, Dahyun?”

“Huh?”

“Then why do you keep making my life difficult. I tried my best, but you-” Sana drunkenly shoved a finger into Dahyun’s abdomen, “-you ruined it all. Just tell me what I’m doing wrong, I can fix it.”

“You’re not doing anything wrong.”

“I am.” Sana slurred, burying her head further into her arm, “I’m doing everything wrong. I lost Mina, I don’t know her anymore. I ignored Momo. And the goddamn store. I don’t want that fucking store, but what am I supposed to do? I tied all our money into it!” 

Dahyun went quiet.

“Why isn’t this making me feel better?” Sana questioned, motioning lazily to their surroundings, “This made you feel better.”

“It didn’t. I just hoped it would every time.”

“Then why do it? Why? This is why they died, because of stupid fucks like you. And this is why she almost died, and why she came this close to leaving you for Nayeon. And this is why Momo is the way she is. So why?”

Dahyun didn’t have an answer for the drunken girl. She could feel Jackson’s sympathetic look from the other side of the bar, the call of just one drink. She shook her head, grabbed Sana by the waist and led the two of them out of the building as quickly as possible. 

She supported them and the short walk to their car, sensing that Sana was probably not able to hold herself up at all. Sana’s breath felt hot against her neck as the woman leaned into her for support, sniffling, she may be crying (Dahyun has no idea). Part of her wanted to ask how much did she drink exactly, but Sana probably had the alcohol tolerance of a teenager so it wouldn’t take much. Finally, they got to her car and Dahyun settled Sana into the passenger seat before taking her own spot in the drivers. 

After a bit of struggle, she buckled Sana up and pulled out of the parking lot. It was quiet, just the sounds of the car could be heard. Dahyun spoke first, “Why’d you call me? Not Momo or Jihyo?”

“I don’t know.”

“Did something happen? To set you off?”

“Our bills are overdue.” Sana slurred sadly, placing her head against the window of the car, “Momo’s hospital fees were a lot more then I expected. And Mina’s need to be paid, and the stores. I don’t know what to do.”

Dahyun gripped the wheel a little tighter. Mina had once talked about how she wanted to be a Lawyer solely for the salary. The two of them were lying in bed, waiting for the results of their Lawyer certification exam when the confession slipped out. Sure, Mina was a great Lawyer but it wasn’t really what she wanted to do. She wanted to be a dancer, she said she used to do it with her sister and her girlfriend back in Japan. But taking care of Sana and Momo had been more important, so much so Mina had a plan to pay off the store and give a monthly allowance to the two women. Mina never got to act on that plan.

“I can take care of it.”

“Huh?”

“I share Mina and I’s old apartment with two roommates on a Lawyer salary. I make too much, I can just help out a bit.”

She could feel Sana’s eyes on her, squinting and scrutinizing her face, “I don’t get you.”

“What don’t you get?”

“How could you change?” Sana questioned, “No one else ever did.”

“I wanted to.”

“You wanted to.”

“Send me the bills tomorrow morning, at least Mina’s medical ones. I can take care of them for you.”

Sana was quiet the rest of the ride, ripping off her seatbelt when they pulled up to her small house and throwing the door open. Dahyun quickly rushed to help her out, helping her up the driveway and into the house. The first thing that struck her is that it hadn’t changed a bit, just the people inside of it. 

“Baby? Are you home?” She heard Momo call from the kitchen, Sana heard it too attempting to break away from Dahyun’s grip and towards the voice. She didn’t get too far, falling into a picture frame and it landed with a loud crash. Footsteps approached immediately, Momo looking over the situation confused.

“She had a bit much to drink.”

“I see,”

“She’s just a little stressed out, you should probably talk to her about it.” Dahyun handed Sana over, before attempting to make her exit. 

“Dahyun?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”


	17. Chapter 17

“This is really good.” Mina gushed, bringing another bite of the jjajangmyeon Nayeon had made to her mouth. It was just a lazy afternoon, and Nayeon had mentioned she was hungry so the ‘Minanayeon hell’s kitchen’ had been officially commissioned. The kitchen was an absolute disaster, but the food was ready and that was all that mattered in the end. She looked up to see Nayeon staring back at her affectionately, a soft smile on her lips as she watched her. “What?”

The barista just shook her head, that same gentle expression never fading from her face, “You have sauce on your face.”

“I do?” Mina grabbed her napkin as she tried to scrub it off, following Nayeon’s direction of where it was by mirroring it on her own face. 

“Let me do it.” Nayeon reached across the small wooden table as she wiped it away from just above her lip. Her thumb moved slowly, gliding over the flesh. 

This felt familiar. But Mina just couldn’t put her finger on it. 

“Sana came home drunk last night.” Mina relayed, thinking back to how she and Momo had to try and wrestle the drunken woman upstairs and into her pajamas. In any other circumstance, she would have found it comical, the two of them taking one of Sana’s arms as they dragged her swaying body up the stairs. Sana would stumble, her mess of hair swaying over her face as she babbled in a mix of Korean and Japanese to the two. She switched between cursing the two out, to tearfully telling them how much she loved them. And that she wanted a cat. Sana had been very insistent that she wanted a kitten for some reason, so much so, in fact, Mina was considering looking for some craigslist listings for free Kittens. 

Nayeon looked surprised as she took a bite of her own food, “She drank?”

“Yeah, Momo was saying she had never done that before. She’s an adult though, I guess. She can do whatever she wants. But what I found odd is that she called Dahyun to bring her home.”

“She called Dahyun?”

“I know! That’s weird isn’t it!” Mina said, a small smile appearing on her face thinking back to the Lawyer, “We should invite Dahyunie over. We made too much food.”

Nayeon’s face hardened a bit, and she took a big bite of her food taking her time to chew it. After a few long moments, she finally shook her head, “I don’t know about that.”

“I thought you two were friends?”

“Her, Jihyo, and Jeongyeon are friends. We just kind of end up being in the same place.” Nayeon answered, “We got into a really big fight the day after the last Chuseok at Sana and Momo’s. We haven’t really talked since, except when she comes to my shop.”

“Oh. I didn’t know that.” Nayeon could hear the frown in Mina’s voice even though she was staring at the tabletop not daring to make eye contact. “What did you fight about?”

“...you.”

“Me?”

“Dahyun was really sick back then, and you needed comfort. And we-”

_Mina can’t help the whimper that bubbles out of her when Nayeon pushes her back onto the counter. She’s gasping, grasping at the material of the Woman’s shirt trying to pull it over her head. Nayeon breaks the kiss for just a moment, tossing the blouse somewhere else before she quickly reconnects the kiss and starts working on the buttons of Mina’s brick red silk shirt. Somehow Nayeon travels down to just below her ear, nipping and sucking. Mina’s hands are in her hair, then scratching down her back, then pushing everything off the kitchen counters. They land with a crash, slinging down the ground and scattering all around the place._

_“Leave her,” Nayeon whispers so softly that Mina thinks for a moment she misheard it, “She doesn’t deserve you.”_

_“I-I don’t know how.” Mina answered truthfully, “I love her.”_

_Mina feels dizzy from the feeling of Nayeon’s hands traveling up and down her sides, then finally slipping under the fabric of her panties. Mina’s moan is like a sin, Nayeon knows she shouldn’t hear it, but it was just so, so hard to resist._

_“I love you.” Nayeon declared, her voice airy, forehead resting against Mina’s, “I love you.”_

_(Dahyun pushed Nayeon back, pointing a finger in her direction. The girl reeked of whiskey, Nayeon didn’t understand how Mina could stand that for so long. “It was you, wasn’t it.”_

_“Dahyun-”_

_“I fucking knew it. It wasn’t her boss, it was you.” Dahyun growled, pushing Nayeon again, “You fucked my girlfriend.”_

_“You’re drunk.”_

_“So fucking what?” She screamed, turning towards Mina. Mina wished she hadn’t, Large tears rolled down her ruddy cheeks, her face flushed with red, “You- you- how could you?”_

_“Dahyun, I’m sorry.”_

_“Do you love her?”_

_Yes. Yes, Mina loved her. Somewhere along the way she fell for her, she realized it as she confessed what she did to Sana after everyone had left. After Dahyun had called her a whore in front of her entire family. She locked eyes with Nayeon’s, pleading for her to finally admit it. To leave this hellhole Dahyun had created of her relationship._

_But then she looked at the bottles. Empty cans and bottles littering their kitchen counters. The sway in Dahyun’s step. She was scared. She was so scared. What if she left, and Dahyun really overdid it this time? What if she left, and then had to get the phonecall that Dahyun was no longer with her._

_So Mina tearfully shook her head, “No I don’t love her. I love you.”_

_Her mother had always told her, a liar is the groundwork for a thief. And Mina had stolen two hearts and trusts that night. )_

Mina’s head hurt. She felt like she was being ripped in two. She gripped it with both hands, dripping her chopsticks onto the floor as tears started to pool from the pain. This is what dying feels like, isn’t it? She needed to get out. She needed to go home. 

Right, that was a plan. Go home. She got up suddenly, startling Nayeon in the process. Go. Run. Go.

“Mina- Mina I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” She heard Nayeon plead, she felt her hands grasp her wrist, fingernails digging into the soft flesh, “I just- I missed you so much! I thought you were going to die. Please, we can figure out where to go from here. I still love you.”

“I need to go.”

“Please!” Nayeon was crying, on her knees holding onto Mina like a child. “Please don’t leave me again.”

Mina successfully detached her wrist from Nayeon’s grasp, one hand holding her head as she stumbled to the door of Nayeon’s apartment. 

“She doesn’t love you! She wouldn’t have said those things and do those things to you if she did!”

“stop.”

“Kim Dahyun only gives a damn about herself! Try to remember all the times she would make you cry, remember how she isolated you from your sister, how she put alcohol over you. Try to remember.”

Mina felt like throwing up.

“Remember when you two got into a fight and she poured whiskey on you. She. Poured. A. Bottle. Of. Whiskey. Over. Your. Head. You came to me sobbing, smelling like the very damn thing that murdered your parents. She knew that, but she still did it. You said to forgive her because she was drunk and you loved her, it was just a mistake. The heat of the moment. Remember that Mina.”

“enough.”

“She doesn’t get a second chance! What are you going to do? Go back to her and wait for things to go back to the way things were?”

Mina grasped onto the door handle and turned it. 

“I love you.”

Mina ran.

…

“Hey, babe?” Momo called, frowning at the piece of paper she was holding. When she saw a letter without a return address or stamp, it did pique her interest. 

“Yeah?”

“Why did we get a check from Kim Dahyun, attached with a letter stating: Thanks for letting me take care of you guys for once.”

“What?” Loud clumsy footsteps trailed into the kitchen, Sana still having her toothbrush in her mouth as she came into the kitchen, peering over Momo’s shoulder. “Shit, she was serious about that?”

“Serious about what?”

“When she picked me up last night she said she was going to cover Mina’s medical bills. I didn’t think she was serious.” Sana took the toothbrush out of her mouth, a few bits of foamy saliva dropping to the floor, “What do we do with that?”

“Use it?”

“You can’t be serious.”

“What other option do we have? I’m sorry, do you want to have electricity this month? I would.” Momo shot back, “Plus, we’re going to have to pay for your and my therapy this mont-”

“I’m not going to therapy.”

“Minatozaki Sana.”

“Hirai Momo.”

“You are going to therapy. The moment you walked through our door hammered last night, you gave up your opinion on the matter. If I have to go, you do too.”

“We can’t afford it.”

“I got a second job.”

Sana paused, “What?”

“I got a second job at that dance studio downtown.”

“Teaching?” 

“No, I’m going to be cleaning. You know, mopping the floors, cleaning the mirrors. That kind of stuff. It’s at night so I can still work the store for us as well.”

Momo had never broken Sana’s heart before. She was never mean like Sana was when they fought, she never cheated or dumped her. But this is the closest thing Sana imagined it would feel like. Momo’s dream was dancing. Growing up that was all she ever talked about, how she was going to own her own studio and teach. She and Sana had kept a journal where they planned everything, from the colors of the studio to the set up of the rooms. But to hear that Momo was being degraded to just cleaning, Sana felt her chest restrict. 

She didn’t deserve Momo.

“I’m kind of excited, it’s been so long since I’ve been in one. Maybe I can sneak you and baby Mina in and we can do a little throwback session. The pay is decent too, a few hundred a week. Not much, but it should help-”

Momo never got to finish that thought, with Sana’s arms wrapping around her. The girl dug her face into Momo’s neck. “I wish I could marry you.”

“We can’t though. Legally.”

“I know. But the moment we can, I’m wifing the fuck out of you.”

Momo chuckled at that, laying a kiss on Sana’s forehead. She heard the front door open, and hurried footsteps make her way into the house. “Mina? You’re home early.”

No answer, she could feel Sana’s frown against her neck, she tried again, “Mina?”

The sound that came from down the hall, Momo had never heard come from Mina before. 

Momo ran. 

She ran towards Mina, stopping when she saw her figure in the hall on the floor, curled up and clutching her head. Sana was quickly at her side, trying to pull her hands away from where they were entangled in her hair, “Mina? Mina, what’s wrong?”

“It hurts!” Mina wailed, hitting Sana’s hands away, “It hurts!”

“What hurts baby?” Sana asked, brushing the hair out of the younger’s face. She sent Momo a look, and the woman immediately fished her phone from her pocket and left the room. She heard Momo talking to the 911 operator faintly in the kitchen. 

“They’re dead!” Mina screamed, “and She- I- We-! Make it stop!”

Mina was writhing, babbling incoherently, as Sana tried to comfort her fruitlessly, “Did you remember something?”

“It hurts!”

“It’s okay, help is coming.”

That seemed to only make things worse, Mina was sobbing and crying, and gasping for air. Momo joined the pair again, performing what the operator was telling her with shaking hands.


	18. Chapter 18

“She’s asleep.” 

“Good.” Sana hummed through exhausted closed eyes, barely being able to raise her arms for Momo to snuggle into her side. She hadn’t even bothered to get under the covers, just plopped down on top of already crumbled white sheets still dressed. Momo curled into her side, letting her hair rest on Sana’s shoulder, her breath tickling her ear “She seemed exhausted earlier, I didn’t think remembering was going to take so much out of her.”

“How much did he say was back? Thirty-Five percent?”

“Something like that.”

The old grey radio alarm clock flashed 4:43 AM, in blocky red numbers on the other side of Momo’s head. That meant they were at the hospital for no less than fourteen hours, no wonder all three of them were exhausted. Mina had spent the first two delirious in pain, cradling her head and crying as the nurses tried to get some of the tests the needed to do done and administer painkillers. That image stayed inside Sana’s brain, Mina curled up on the hospital bed, fingers threaded between her hair as she kicked and screamed or tried anything to alleviate some of the aches. It sent Sana’s gut-twisting as she tried to coo the younger girl, brushing her hands softly through her hair, alone. Momo couldn’t bear to bring herself to go in there or in the hall and listen to Mina’s wails, opting to wait in the waiting room and would text for updates. 

The pain seemed to fade after some time, and Mina was talking again a few hours later. An MRI revealed tremendous activity in the amygdala, the hippocampus, the cerebellum, and the prefrontal cortex. (Sana had no clue what any of them meant except as brain.) The doctor, an old withered man had sat and explained that while Mina’s memories were coming back, it often meant overworking certain parts of her brain, causing the girl tremendous amounts of pain. It wasn’t normal, but he didn’t seem to think that it would be dangerous or life-threatening. They left with a pain prescription and three exhausted bodies. 

The two were quiet as they laid in bed together, just the light taps of raindrops hitting the window and their electric fan sounded out through the room. The full moon stood proudly in the sky, sneaking in through windows to make the room a light blue. Judging by the deep and even breaths coming from Momo, she assumed that the woman had fallen asleep. She stared up at the ceiling, her eyes trailing the small lines and divots that the ceiling plaster formed. 

“You know,” Momo’s said, voice heavy and laced with sleep, “Maybe it was a good thing she forgot in the first place.”

“What?”

“She was always so sad. I hadn’t seen her smile in a _long_ time before the accident.” Momo’s lips tickled Sana’s neck every time she spoke, “But now, she smiles all the time. And she’s happy. What if that goes away as she remembers more and more?” 

Sana paused. She had never thought about that before, she just brought a hand up to Momo's back and started rubbing gentle patterns. She had been so fixated on the fact that this wasn't _her_ Mina, that this woman who looked at her and didn't remember everything Sana gave up for her couldn't possibly be the same person. But what if Mina was better this way?

"I don't know."

"Yeah, she can't remember the good things, but she also can't remember the bad things. So I don't know if I really want her to remember. I was thinking about this in the waiting room." Momo explained, her tone dipping as she got closer and closer to sleep. "Maybe I'm just being silly."

"How are you doing?" Sana asked, "I know it was a lot earlier, and with everything that happened- you know- in the past."

"I’m fine, I just felt really bad earlier because I couldn't be there for you two." 

"It's okay."

“I know.” She laid a gentle kiss on Sana’s neck, “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“I don’t know. Just for everything.” 

“I should be saying that to you.” 

They said nothing more after that, Momo had fallen asleep. Sana just held her close as she slept, her weight felt comforting against her, grounding her. Carefully, she reached for her phone on her nightstand, squinting when she turned it on, before adjusting the brightness. A click on the green text icon and her thumb was hesitating over the keyboard. She sighed and typed. 

Sana

Thank you. 

[4:51AM]

  


Kim Dahyun

Go to sleep, what are you doing up?

[4:51AM]

Sana closed her phone and put it back on the nightstand, not even bothering to respond. She didn’t need to, she said what she had to. Momo put an arm around her waist and squeezed her tighter, Sana chuckled and closed her eyes. 

…

“Knock, knock.” Dahyun looked up from her desk as Joohyun peaked in the door, her body half in as she held onto the door handle. Work was a nightmare right now, her cases were piling up and she had no one to help her because everyone else was just as busy. It surprised her that Joohyun was still there, usually, she would set a limit to herself and only work until 5:30 so she could go home and eat dinner with her girlfriend and her kids. Dahyun found herself envying Joohyun in that regard, the little pit turning inside her stomach every time the woman would take out her phone to show her a new video of little Yeri and her favorite stuffie, or Sooyoung playing with these two big white dogs as Joohyun called for her to get away. She was glad the woman was happy finally, especially after her divorce earlier in the year. They never talked about it directly, but Dahyun picked up the basic gist. The woman knew she was gay, but still chose to marry on her family’s wishes, but she just couldn’t do it anymore. Her new partner, Seulgi, was nice, Dahyun had met her a few times she came into the office before. She was the one who got Dahyun her job back when she was discharged from rehab, so she really owed her.

“What’s up?” Dahyun turned her attention back to the piles of papers spread out in front of her, reading over legal jargon and trying to find anything, absolutely anything that would help her case. 

“Are you planning on going home soon? It’s almost 6:30.”

“No, I have to much work to do.” She motioned to her disaster of a desk.

“Oh,” There was confusion laced in her voice, “But Mina’s been waiting for an hour now.”

Dahyun’s head snapped right up at that, “What?”

“Yeah, she came in like an hour ago saying you two were going out after you leave.”

Craning her neck past Joohyun, she could see Mina sat in one of the chairs out front, playing around on her phone. She frowned and turned back to her papers. 

Dahyun _could_ make her wait and get some more work done. Mina would finally know what it felt like, to wait for someone to come home and have them not show for hours later. But she shook the thought away almost as soon as it arrived, instead she just hastily shoved the most important papers in her grey briefcase before grabbing her coat and walked by Joohyun. Mina looked up at her when she heard her footsteps approaching, her appearance took her a bit off guard. She looked sick and tired. “What are you doing here? How long have you been waiting?”

“I need you to come with me.”

“Where?”

“There is a pet store around here, I just don’t know where it is.”

Dahyun paused. Mina really waited an hour, just for Dahyun to show her to a pet store? She nodded, “Oh, okay.”

The pair left, bidding goodbye to Joohyun who happily waved them off. They fell back into their usual walking patter, Dahyun on the left, Mina on the right as Dahyun guided them in the right direction. Mina was quiet, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. Dahyun could tell something was wrong, she just didn’t know what. She didn’t ask, Mina would tell her if she wanted to. 

They arrived at Tzuyu’s work after a few minutes, letting themselves into the blue themed shop. Tzuyu wasn’t working, Dahyun knew for a fact she was lazying around on their couch at home, cursing Tim the ferret as Chaeyoung let him play in his pen. She and Mina used to come here often when they were much younger because Mina loved puppies, and Dahyun loved Mina. 

“I need a kitten.” Mina’s soft tone almost startled Dahyun, who was peering into a tank of multicolored fish. 

“A kitten? Why?”

“Sana is lonely, she kept saying she wanted a kitten the other night.” Mina peered into a few kennels with kittens into it, a small smile on her face as she put her finger up to the glass, “So I just thought I should get her one.”

“I never took her as a cat person.”

“We had a cat back in Japan, his name was Amaya.” Dahyun’s mouth dropped a bit as Mina kept speaking, “We had to give him up when we moved. He was with our neighbor, but he was old back then so he is probably dead by now.”

“You remembered.”

“A lot of my memory came back yesterday.” Her words sounded heavy and sad, Dahyun wondered what exactly she remembered, “I have a lot more to go.”

“That’s progress.” Dahyun nudged Mina with her shoulder, making the older giggle. She looked into the cage, pointing at a shy black cat in the back, “How about this one?”

“It’s a black cat.” Mina deadpanned, disapproval evident in her tone, “We don’t need any more bad luck.”

“That’s a superstition. Don’t count him out.”

“Fine.”

Dahyun flagged over the teen sitting behind the counter, he was tall and lanky, wearing a royal blue mesh vest over his white t-shirt. He opened the kennel and handed Dahyun the cat. The little thing looked back up at her, with big scared eyes. It was so tiny, it just fit in the palm of her hand, so delicate. She smiled and held it close to her chest, petting it with her free hand. After a few moments like that, she held it out to Mina, who seemed to contemplate for a few seconds before taking the small cat. 

She watched as Mina cradled the small cat in her hands, her eyes that were once full of suspicion melting away into honey as she looked down at the small cat. Its ears were too big for its head, and so were its paws. But that was its charm. A small purr filled the room, as the kitten seemed to snuggle back into Mina’s hands. 

Dahyun missed how Mina looked like when she was in love.

The expression that she hadn’t seen on the girl’s face in years was back and continued to stay as she paid for the small cat and a bag of food, and left the store. It was dark now, and Dahyun was scared it would start raining as they walked back to Mina’s. 

“I’m sorry.”

Adjusting the bag of food in her hands, Dahyun shot Mina a confused look. The girl wasn’t looking at her, just threading her hands through the Kitten’s soft fur. “For what?”

“I remembered Nayeon.”

That felt like a punch in the gut, she inhaled and nodded her head. “You did?”

“I loved her.”

The alarming sting of tears prickled Dahyun’s eyes, she turned away from Mina, “Then why did you stay?”

Mina was quiet for a minute, “I was scared.”

“That I’d hurt you?” Dahyun asked.

“That you’d hurt yourself.” The honesty in those words grabbed Dahyun by her throat and squeezed all the air out of her. “I knew you weren’t in a good place, and I think I wasn’t either. We were really toxic for each other.”

“Are you still scared?”

“No. I’m proud of you, Dahyun.” Mina clutched the kitten more firmly to her chest as the two of them arrived outside Mina’s door, “I don’t know if I said that before, but I am. You’ve really turned everything around, and I’m proud of you for doing that.”

Dahyun stammered, no one had said that before. Not even Chaeyoung and Tzuyu. She smiled, “Thank you.”

Mina twisted the door open and stuck a foot inside, “Are you coming in?”

“Sana-”

“I wouldn’t worry about her anymore.” Mina walked in and after a few seconds, Dahyun joined her. 

“Mina?” She heard Momo call from the kitchen, as the two tugged off their shoes and left them in the front of the house. 

“I’m home!”

“Come eat, we’re in the kitchen!”

The pair walked into the kitchen, stopping as they saw Momo and Sana plating food with their backs turned to them. Mina adjusted the small kitten in her arms and waited for them to turn around first. Sana turned, plates full of food pausing when she saw Mina. Her eyes immediately went to Dahyun, then Dahyun’s hands, and finally onto the kitten. “What’s that?”

“I got you a friend!”

Sana was quiet for a minute, an unreadable expression on her face. She put the plates on the table, before outstretching her hands, letting Mina give her the small black fluffball. She cradled the sleeping cat and sat down, cooing at it. Momo let out a laugh and walked around her to look at the cat as well. “Dahyun, are you staying?”

“I shouldn’t.”

“Oh please, we made too much food,” Momo assured, reaching out to pet the cat. 

“Okay.”

The food was delicious, well Sana wouldn’t know she was too busy laying on the floor playing with a string with the kitten. Dahyun hadn’t seen her like that in so long, so carefree and happy. She had always liked Sana in that aspect, that she was scary and mean, yet so gentle with things she loved. It was good to see that size of her again. Mina seemed to think so too, watching her sister play with her new fur child.

Just for a moment, everything felt okay again. 

(That moment ended too soon.) 


	19. Chapter 19

Dancing always just felt right. It was demanding, it was tiring, and it took Momo’s mind off of whatever her life had spiraled into. She used to sleep there some nights with Hana, the two would bring out mats and thin towels they stored in the closet on nights her father was particularly bad. They’d dash out of their house, and down the yard sometimes with bloody lips and bruised cheekbones, and sometimes with their hearts torn out by vile words he spewed in their direction. Both hurt equally. Hana tried her best to make those nights seem normal, playing music as the two danced into the early hours of the morning. Sometimes Sana would join, sneaking out of her house and joined the two. Mina joined them a few years later, quickly rising to be one of the most promising dancers in the classical department with the extra hours she put in. Hana left sometime between there, not being able to take any more of her father’s bullshit. (Hana called it abuse, Momo never did. She could never call herself a victim, he- he just showed his love differently.) She even earned herself a scholarship, to study dance at one of Japan’s top universities.

When Sana and Mina’s parents died, that all changed. Sana was so broken, so lost on what to do her sister now, and scared. Momo had never seen someone look so scared as she did when she entered Sana’s house to see the entire place torn apart. Then Sana stole their money and bought a store in another country, Momo nearly lost her mind. She tried to dance that day, but she just ended up screaming on the floor as her tuition money was gone. She couldn’t go to school anymore. Momo just blindly followed like she always did.

Dancing eventually faded, something she never had time or energy for. Sometimes she and Mina would push all the furniture out of the way in their living room and dance. Mina was so young back then, just a baby. When Mina got older, one day she came home crying. Sana was at work, which was probably good she never was the best with these things, so Momo tried to comfort the girl the best as she could by holding her close and slowly swaying to some music on her phone. Dancing coxed out how Dahyun had grabbed and screamed at her that night, how Mina pushed back, how she was sleeping with Nayeon. That was the last time the two were alone before everything fell apart. 

It had been nearly ten years since Momo last stepped into a studio, the last time being trying to get prices for classes. But nothing had changed, it was still a wall of mirrors and a horrible paint scheme. She just had a rag and a spray bottle, anything for some pocket change. Momo was exhausted, she had already done a double, covering for Mina who spent the afternoon throwing up. Sana was probably still up and waiting for her, she had gotten a second job too. She wouldn’t tell Momo what it was, and that scared her. Sana never kept anything from her. 

It took nearly two hours for her to clean the room, nearly running home after she was finished. She tried to be as quiet as possible when she entered the house, silently taking off her shoes and getting something to eat. Mina was asleep on the sofa, Spooky (Yes, Sana had named the black kitten Spooky) curled up on her chest, both asleep. Sana was nowhere to be found, so Momo undressed and laid in bed alone. 

Sana came home hours later when the sun was just starting to rise. Momo felt the bed dip and Sana scoot in next to her, Sana’s arm wrapped around her waist. 

“Where were you?”

“Work,” Sana answered, sleepiness prominent in her tone.

_“This late?”_

_“Yes, this late, Momo-chan.”_

_“Where-”_

_“Let’s just go to sleep.”_ Sana held no room for arguing, and Momo obliged. She was always more of a follower.

...

Mina knocked again, this time harder than the last. Finally, the door swung open Nayeon looking at her with surprised eyes, “Mina? What are you doing here?”

“I needed to talk to you.” Mina knew she sounded tired, she knew she looked tired. Her head had been a mess these past few days, maybe that was why Nayeon nodded and let Mina in. They sat on Nayeon’s couch, both too nervous to say anything. Kookeu came and snuggled himself of Nayeon’s lap, maybe sensing his owner’s inner turmoil, or he just wanted cuddles. The awkward tension in the air sat there, as they both tried to figure out what to do. 

“I shouldn’t have acted that way the other day,” Nayeon spoke up first, her tone guarded and unsure. “I was out of line.”

“It’s okay.”

“I just, I couldn’t bear to see you go again. I missed you so much.”

“Why didn’t you tell me right away?”

“You only remembered her,” Nayeon sounded venomous when she talked about that, it opposed how she looked. Snuggled in a sweatshirt, that Mina swore felt familiar, cowering in the corner of the couch. “Even after all that, you still remembered only her.”

“I didn’t choose that.”

“I know. It’s just, I- I don’t like her.” She played with the fabric of her pants, “I just can’t look at her the same way.

“She got help, she’s better.”

“I know, Jihyo and I picked her up from rehab and she seemed different the next couple of months, it’s just hard.” Nayeon played with her fingers before Mina slowly slid her fingers in between her own, “I still love you.”

“I-”

“Don’t. I don’t want to know.”

_“Don’t. I don’t want to know.” Nayeon whispered against her lips, Mina swore she could feel a hint of a smile there, “Don’t talk about her. It’s just you and me.”_

_Mina nodded, leaning up to capture Nayeon’s lips again. The movie Nayeon had put on played forgotten in the background, offering a bit of light in her living room. Mina took her time, trailing open mouth kisses and nips down Nayeon’s neck as the woman started working her fingers under her shirt tracing soft patterns. Mina should feel guilt or shame. She should, yet she doesn’t._

_Nayeon just makes everything easy. Didn’t Mina deserve just something to be easy? Mina’s shirt was slipped over her head, as Mina sneaked a hand down damp panties earning a moan from Nayeon. Dahyun was probably at home- no don’t think about that. She fastened her motions, and Nayeon bit her neck in response, trying to muffle her quickly increasing moans._

_“Fuck Dahyun, be careful.”_

_Hands were suddenly pushing Mina away, making her land on the floor with a soft thump. Nayeon was looking down at her, tears prickling her eyes, “What did you say?”_

_“Nayeon-”_

_“Get out.”_

_‘Wait-” Mina tried weakly, but Nayeon was pushing her out the door before she could respond. It all went so fast she could barely comprehend what was happening, she was in the hall, her shirt was thrown at her and then the door was slammed shut. She could hear Nayeon’s cries from inside, seeping through the shut door as Mina sat with her back against it._

“Mina.” She snapped her head over to where Nayeon was looking over at her, concern written all over her face, “Are you okay? You’re crying?”

“I’m crying?” She slowly raised a hand up to her cheek, feeling wetness. Pain exploded in her head, causing her to double over, gripping it with both hands. She could vaguely feel Nayeon’s hands on her shoulders, could vaguely hear her asking if she what was wrong. “I’m sorry.”

“I’ll call Sana,” Nayeon scooted Kookeu off her laugh and tried to get up, being stopped by Mina’s hand gripping her wrist. 

“No.”

“Mina, you’re in pain.”

“I’m sorry. For everything.” Mina felt like she was going to throw up, her head pounded and screamed at her. Maybe this was what she deserved for everything she had done. She gripped harder as the pain increased, Nayeon kneeled down trying to look at her eyes. 

“Hey, look at me.” She gently placed her hand on Mina’s face, waiting patiently until Mina finally locked eyes with her, “It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay!” Mina screamed, “Everyone keeps saying it’s okay! It’s not! Nothing is okay!” 

“You’re right.” Nayeon hummed, rubbing her thumb gently along Mina’s cheek, “You just remembered something, didn’t you. Mina, things have changed since then.”

“I still did it.”

“Yup, but you’re forgiven. And bad things happened to you too, and you seem to be okay with them. I mean, Dahyun and you are cool, we are okay, and you and Samo are okay.”

“I just feel so bad.” Mina’s voice broke on the last word, “I feel so bad.”

“How about we watch a show?” Nayeon suggested it was quite sudden. But Nayeon was never good at these types of things, Mina knew that much. Nayeon quickly flipped on a random drama and sat back on the couch, letting Mina lay her head on her lap. 

She ran her hands through Mina’s hair, as Kookeu took perch on the end of the couch. Mina went quiet after a while, meaning one of two things, she was really invested in the drama, or she was lost in her thoughts. It was peaceful, and Nayeon could almost kid herself that this was permanent. That Mina had finally left Dahyun and they were living in her apartment just like she had always hoped. “Nayeon?”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“Sana isn’t really my sister, is she?”

Nayeon’s hand stopped combing through her hair for a minute, before restarting her movements, “You never wanted to talk about that.”

“I just remembered.”

“You did? That’s something you need to talk to her about.”

“I know.” Mina closed her eyes, “Can you just hold me, for tonight?”

“I’d hold you forever if you asked me to.”


	20. Chapter 20

_“Minari, we already ate but your plate is in the microwave,”_ Momo called out as Mina walked into the kitchen, the couple was already doing dishes. For some reason, it just made her upset more so than she already was. After a lame excuse, she left Nayeon’s house and made her way home, more confused and hurt than ever.

The couple looked so happy, as Sana tried to get a bit of bubble on Momo’s face and Momo attempted to dodge. She knew it was selfish, knew it was cruel of her to interrupt. Nothing made sense, it didn’t make sense. Her head hurt, everything hurt as the couple turned to her.

“You lied to me.” There it was, just put out in the open. She watched as confusion spread across the two older faces. Sana sent Momo a quick look before turning back to Mina, opening her mouth to try and get some answers. Mina didn’t let her, “We aren’t sisters, are we?”

“What are you saying? Of course, we are.”

“But we don’t have the same parents.”

Both girls went quiet at that, just the gentle tick of the clock was heard. The color seemed to drain out of Sana’s face, as she put down the pot she was washing and turned to give Mina her full attention, “We don’t.”

A beat.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why would you need to know?” 

Mina blinked, feeling annoyance starting to bubble up in her stomach, “Why would I need to know? Do you hear yourself?”

“Yeah. What would it change?”

“Everything. It would change everything.” Mina felt something start to churn within her, something sour and rancid. Maybe it was the frustration of no one telling her everything, maybe it was just she needed someone to take her frustration out on, she wasn’t sure. “You lied to me.”

“I never lied to you.” She could hear Sana trying to keep her tone even, not let too much emotion seep into it. “My parents raised you, we are sisters.”

“No, we’re not.” There it was. Just three words. They didn’t seem to hold that much weight, just Mina spewing out whatever she wanted. She stood her ground, tensing up as she watched the expressions on Sana and Momo’s faces start to shift. Momo looked angry, her eyes darting between Momo and her girlfriend, her body language screaming that she wanted to step in the middle of whatever this was. What surprised her the most was the tears that started welling up in Sana’s eyes, glistening and catching the light. 

“What did you just say?” Sana asked, hurt dripping and pooling in her words. “You don’t mean that.”

“You heard me.” Mina was just trying to wound, trying to maim. It wasn’t right, but some sort of perverted relief came from knowing she could make the other girl hurt like she was for even just a minute. It made her shameful, tears prickling her own eyes. She didn’t know what to feel, know what to do. Sana seemed to make that decision for her. 

“You- I- How dare you.” Sana was stuttering, her face turning an ugly shade of red, “Do you not understand everything I’ve done for you. I left my home, I’m drowning in debt, I have nothing. Because of you. Because I love you.” 

“You-”

“No. Shut up.” Sana spat, shaking. “Yes we don’t have the same parents, but don’t you dare try to say that we aren’t family. I can’t believe you would say that.”

Sana sounded really upset. And it wasn’t making Mina feel relieved like she thought it would, it just stung more. Looking at the woman, who now stared back at her with red-rimmed eyes, a few tears streaming down her cheeks. She had never seen Sana cry openly, only when the woman thought no one would notice or she was alone. Yet here she was, crying. And Mina caused that. 

However, she couldn’t stop herself, “You’ve hated me ever since I woke up. You just want me out of here, out of your hair for good. Don’t you.”

“I’ve done everything for you! I tried my hardest, and if that’s not good enough for you than I don’t care. Do you know how many hours I worked, how many jobs I had to put you through college?”

_“You’re home late,” Mina commented, pushing over so Sana could plop on the couch next to her. She moved the few notebooks onto her lap along with her thick law book. Sana just sat next to her, looking completely exhausted._

_The woman had an unnatural pale tint to her skin, she looked skinny, she looked sick. “I just got off my shift.”_

_“I can get a part-time too.” Mina saw Sana roll her eyes, this was an argument they had too often, “I don’t get why you kill yourself like this.”_

_“Just focus on school, okay?” Sana sent her a smile, reaching up to affectionately ruffle the girl’s hair, “Tuition is due next Monday, right?”_

_“Yeah.”_

“Do you know how much debt I’m in because you tried to kill yourself? I will die in debt, Mina. I didn’t care, I still don’t care now. Cause that saved you, and you’re standing right here in front of me again. And you want to try and undermine that? Say we aren’t sisters?”

“I-”

“Don’t.” Sana angrily wiped away tears that spilled out with the back of her sleeve, “I need to be alone for a little bit.”

She brushed past Mina and picked up Spooky off the floor. Sana held the small cat to her chest, running her fingers through his soft fur, trying to calm herself enough, “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have.” With that, Sana stomped up the stairs and the door to her bedroom slammed shut. She could hear Sana’s cries even from where she was standing, she could almost picture the sight. Sana laid out on her bed, holding a hand over her mouth as she tried to muffle her cries, threading the other hand through Spooky’s fur.

Momo turned away from her and started washing the dishes again, running the faucet as she scraped away at the plate in her hands. She could tell Momo was upset with her as well, the girl almost slamming the plate into the drying rack. “Momo.”

“Go sleepover Dahyun or Nayeon’s tonight.” That was it, short and clipped before Momo shut down. She could see the girl’s expression harden, her jaw clench, “It’s probably best if you let her calm down before you apologize. And you will apologize.”

“Okay-”

“She’s really trying. This all is not easy for her either. This is a big change for her too, you’re different and she’s never done well with change. She is trying to be civil with Dahyun, for you, she’s trying to be supportive of you. Don’t make this harder for her.” Momo wouldn’t look at her, as she placed another glass into the drying rack, “Send me a text when you get wherever you’re going.”

That was it. As she walked out of the house all the misplaced anger slowly left her, and she just felt empty and confused. Her head hurt, her heart hurt. Nothing made sense, nothing made any sense. She just wanted peace, just a bit of peace for once.

She could take a left and go to Dahyun, make a right and go to Nayeon, or back and try to mend things with Sana and Momo. Left, right, back. 

(Mina went forwards. No one heard anything from her for a week.)

_“I bet I can get to the top faster than you” Sana called out, peddling her bike faster, listening to Momo’s giggle just slightly behind her._

_“Girls, be careful.” Her mother called out, the sound almost forgotten as the two kids tried to peddle as fast as they could. The raced through the trail, weaving through fallen branches and stray rocks. They reached the top of the small mountain and waited, being careful not to disturb anything at the small shrine, Sana’s parents always told her she shouldn’t disturb things like that._

_A small cry sounded through the shrine._

_“Did you hear that?” Momo questioned, Sana nodded trying to scan the area for the babies cry. She found it, in the form of a small girl sitting at the base of one of the pillars of the arch in front of the shrine. She was alone, no one else was on the mountain except for them._

_“Hello?” Sana tried, approaching the crying girl trying to rationalize what was going on with her seven-year-old mind, “Why are you crying?”_

_“Mommy!” The girl wailed, looking around again, panic in her small voice. Sana concluded she was much younger than Momo and Sana, and a crybaby._

_“Girls, are you up here?” Sana’s mother’s voice rang out, probably had just arrived on the top._

_“Mommy, we’re over here.”_

_They made their way over, quickly taking over the situation, instructing Sana and Momo to sit over to the side. She could tell her parents were upset, both of them had had frowns on their faces as they crouched down to the young girl, trying to calm her down. Sana’s mother picked her up, bouncing her gently on her hip trying to coo and shush the girl, as her father ran his hand through his hair as she read over a small note that was taped onto the pillar the girl was sat next to. The girl cried herself to sleep as they walked down the mountain, face squished against her mother’s shoulder arm hanging limply._

_“We need to stop at the police before we go home.” Sana’s father informed the girls as they tied their bikes to the back of their grey honda. “Make sure it’s okay that we bring Mina home.”_

_“Mina?” Sana questioned, pointing at the girl still in her mother’s arms, “Her?”_

_“Mhmm.”_

_“Why? Doesn’t she need to go back with her mommy and daddy?”_

_The kids watched as her father took a second to fully attach the bikes, “Her mommy and daddy don’t want to keep her around anymore.”_

_“They can do that?”_

_“No, but they did. So we are going to take care of her, be nice to her.”_

_Sana sent a look over to where her Mom was leaned up against the car, adjusting the sleeping baby in her arms. Mina had a fistful of her shirt, not letting it go, even as the child slumbered. Sana wondered how long she was crying at the shrine, how someone wouldn’t want the baby. She was cute._

_There was no transitional period for Sana as the family went from three to four, waiting patiently as the police gave them the okay to bring Mina home. Even as they stopped for food on their way home, eating in the car, Mina still in her mother’s arms. No jealously, just wonder. A protective nature being formed, how she wouldn’t let the little baby cry again. She promised._

_(Sana couldn’t keep that promise, but she tried her damn best.)_


	21. Chapter 21

There was nothing special about Mina’s return. No tearful apologies, as Mina begged outside their door in the middle of the night. No call or text saying where she was for the past week, or when she would return. Of course, Sana and Momo fought about it, Sana already strung out and emotional from not only Mina but just the past year. It wasn’t huge, just Sana saying she couldn’t believe Momo told her to leave, Momo defending herself. They both still got home at ludacris hours of the night, Sana taking the bed and Momo the couch. 

Mina just appeared, sitting at the kitchen table head in her hands, elbows resting on the countertop as she stared into a thick law book. She had a list filled with legal jargon next to her, checks next to certain words. She looked tired and skinny. Momo walked past her and started making her cup of coffee, filling up her colorful character mug, drowning the liquid with milk and sugar before taking a seat next to Mina. 

“I was at Joohyun’s,” Mina said, not looking up, underlining a part of her book. She wrote something in the margin, a mix of Japanese and Korean that Momo had to take a second to decipher. “My old boss.”

“Mmm.” Momo hummed, taking a sip of her coffee looking out the small window above the sink at the sunrise. It was a kaleidoscope of reds, pinks, and oranges basking the kitchen in multicolored hues. She took out her phone and flipped onto a random radio on Spotify. A gentle acoustic strummed out. “I was worried about you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you hungry?” 

“No.” 

“Okay.” Momo relaxed into her seat further, reading over the textbook. She hadn’t seen Mina read anything like this since her college days, filled with long complicated words that Momo had no idea what they meant. They sat like that, Sana didn’t wake up until a lot later these days, she just didn’t have the energy to. Momo would talk to her about that, but later. Always later. 

“I didn’t mean what I said, the other night.” 

“I know.” Another sip, “Do you want to tell me what’s going on with you?”

“Huh?”

“People just don’t act out randomly, what’s bothering you?” Momo watched as Mina clasped her hands together, a nervous habit the girl had always did. Always needed to be holding onto someone in some way, usually a hand or shirt. Sana used to joke and say it was her abandonment issues, needing to make sure the other wasn’t going to leave, Momo wasn’t sure how much of that was a joke. As a kid she had huge separation anxiety, crying for hours when Sana’s parents would have the couple watch Mina when they needed to go to work. Momo reached out and grabbed Mina’s hand, rubbing her thumb on the younger’s. 

“Everything.”

“You need to be a bit more specific.”

A deep breath, “I don’t want to remember anymore. It all just hurts too much. I’m a horrible person, I hurt Dahyun, I hurt Nayeon, I hurt you two. I don’t know what to do Momoring.”

“You’re not a horrible person. Things just didn’t really work out the way they ought to.” Momo tightened her grip, “Dahyun hurt you too, Nayeon knew what she was doing, and us- We wouldn’t have done any of this if we didn’t want to.”

“I need my job back.”

“Is that why you’re studying?”

“I need to remember, then I can help you two.”

“Dahyun is helping us right now.”

“What?”

“She’s covering your medical bills, I think she feels guilty about pushing you to that point.” 

“But-”

“You did it on purpose, didn’t you?” Momo asked, finally the question she had been wanting to get out ever since she saw Mina in that mangled car, “You tried to kill yourself.”

A pause, “I think so, but I can’t remember for sure.”

“Why didn’t you talk to me about it? I could have helped you.”

“I think I was just overwhelmed.”

“Like now?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to hurt yourself?”

“No.” Mina shook her head, “Do you?”

“No.” Momo finished her coffee and set it down on the table, taking a glance at the clock on the microwave, “Sana should be waking up soon, you two will probably want to talk.”

“We talked last night, it wasn’t much. She’s not very open with what she’s feeling.”

“Tell me about it.” She sighed, “Woman is pushing thirty, and still acts like a teenager.”

Mina giggled and unlatched her hand from Momo’s burying her face back into the textbook, nonverbally signaling she didn’t want to talk anymore. Momo was perfectly fine with letting the conversation go, getting up from her seat and trying to dig through their fridge to try and find some breakfast. A sense of relief in her movements, having a bit of control over everything once again, calmed her. If that control was actually there, or just falsely assumed, was to be determined. 

…

“Be right there!” 

Dahyun knew this was probably a bad idea, walking into the lion’s den. Actually, it was 3mix coffee, but it felt the same. She stood behind the counter as Nayeon rushed out from the back, tying her apron around her waist suddenly behind the register. She looked up and paused. Dahyun could see it, the furrow in the woman’s eyebrows before she tried to plaster a smile on her features, “What can I get you?”

“Just my usual,” Dahyun answered, already ready to insert her card. She paid and Jeongyeon started to make her order in the back. Nayeon stood there, looking torn if she wanted to stay or try and escape to the back. Dahyun helped her with that, “Do you have a minute?”

“What for?”

“I need to talk to you, about Mina.” 

Jeongyeon placed her cup in front of her, breaking both women’s concentration momentarily. Nayeon snapped out of it, making her way around the corner and to a seat, Dahyun sitting across from her. Nayeon looked guarded, crossing her arms over her chest, sitting straight up, “What is it?”

“I got offered a new position, at a different firm.”

“Okay?” 

“It’s in Busan.” She watched as realization dawned over Nayeon’s face, her posture weakening a bit.

“Is that a good decision? Your entire support system is up here, what if you relapsed?-”

It was always so hard to hate Nayeon. Dahyun should hate her, should never want to see her again, yet Nayeon was still caring. Dahyun shook her head, “I would still be going to treatment, just down there.”

“But Tzuyu and Chaeyoun-”

“I know.” Dahyun sighed, “This position is big. I would be running the place, and get a major promotion.”

“So what do I have to do with this?”

“You still love her don’t you.” It wasn’t spiteful, or accusatory, it was just there. A statement.

“Yes.”

“Take care of her when I’m gone.” 

“You’re just going to be a couple of hours away.”

“Yeah, but you can do so much better than me. She still has feelings for you, I can tell.”

“Dahyun-”

“I haven’t heard her laugh in so long, just pure happiness.” Dahyun played with the rim of her cup, recalling that day in the store, “I just want her to be like that, and I can’t do that. I would’ve done that already. Plus I need to take care of me before I even worry about her.”

“So you’re giving up?  


“I did a long time ago.” Dahyun stood up, picking up her drink as well. “I need to get to work, but just think about what I said.”

She didn’t give Nayeon any time to respond, walking out of the shop and down the street. It was still early, not many commuters were out quiet just the way Dahyun liked. Her phone buzzed, a text from Joohyun telling her the meeting they were supposed to attend that morning was postponed. She tucked the phone back into her pocket, turning onto the road that housed Sana’s shop and she had to walk down to get to work. She peaked into the shop as she walked, watching as Sana stocked shelves, the small black kitten playing with a wrapper on the floor. She smiled before continuing on her way, made her way to the office and sat at her desk staring over that same email she had been looking at for the last week. Stay or Go?


	22. Chapter 22

“You’re late.”

“I know,” Sana flipped open the counter, grabbing a box from behind it and disappeared between the aisles to start filling a bit of the stock. Mina was playing some American rap from her phone that bled through the store, a pen between her lips as she read through a page of notes. 

She slipped it out, looking up at where Sana was, “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I just overslept.”

“You’ve been doing that a lot lately.”

“Momo and I haven’t been sleeping together lately.” Sana pushed back the stock on the shelf, “I can’t sleep without her.”

“Oh.” Mina frowned, “Are you two still fighting?”

“No- I don’t know. We are fine, she just keeps sleeping on the couch.” Sana frowned, walking past Mina to put the box back down and take a seat on the counter, “And I can’t sleep cause she’s not right there.”

“Maybe you should just talk to her?” Mina asked, tone flat like it was the most obvious answer in the world. She tilted her head at her sister, Sana was really a big idiot sometimes. She never really said what she felt, just either tried to push it down or got frustrated that no one could tell exactly what she was thinking. She watched as Sana whined, laying herself down on the counter.

“That’s easier said than done.”

“It’s really not, just go, ‘Momo-yah, please come to bed with me tonight.’ Then flash your puppy eyes and she’ll do it. She would do whatever you asked her to.” 

“No that’s what you would do, you’re her baby.”

“No, you are. Just talk to her. It’s not that hard.” Mina mused, closing her notebook with a loud thud pushing it into her backpack, “If you two don’t talk, you’re going to drift apart.”

“We won’t.”

“You sure about that?”

She wasn’t. Sana shook her head and picked up another box and just put it on the counter, too tired to actually drag it out and start putting more product out. Plus she needed to go and look for expired food, she had a good feeling the sausages hanging up hit their date today. (Sana was about to have a little feast.) So many things to do and she just didn’t have the energy to do it. “You’re going over Dahyuns?”

“Yeah, she wanted to meet up at her house.” Mina answered, throwing her bag over her shoulders, “I’m not sure what about.”

“Maybe she wants a kitten too.”

“Maybe. Momo told me she was giving you two money.”

“She is.”

“Joohyun offered me my job back, it is going to have a little pay reduction because I won’t have the same position I used to and can’t do everything I used to, but it’s a start. Then I can start giving you and Momo money.”

“I won’t take your money.”

“Yes, you are.” Mina made her way to the door, “Let me take care of you. That’s what sisters do.”

Sana didn’t respond, just looked down at the box she was about to unpack and smiled. Mina slipped out of the door and down the street, the walk to Dahyun’s house almost like muscle memory now. She rang the bell and the door buzzed open almost immediately. She let herself in, tossing her shoes off at the door. A few cardboard boxes were stacked next to the door, seemingly just tossed there without much thought. 

“I’m in my room,” Dahyun called, voice muffled by walls. Mina made her way into the room, tripping on a suitcase next to the door. 

“Are you taking a trip?” She asked, plopping down on Dahyun’s bed. The woman was folding clothes and putting them into another case that was open on the floor. She watched Dahyun tense up, before placing more clothes into the container. 

“I actually needed to talk to you about something.” Dahyun zipped up the case and laid on the bed next to Mina, looking up at the small glow in the dark stickers on the ceiling. They had put those up years ago when they first moved in together per Momo’s request, afraid that Mina would be scared of the dark. It was weird how they still were up, when all the posters, knick nacks, and every trace of Mina had been dismantled by Dahyun nearly six months ago. 

“What is it?”

“I got a new job.”

“You did? That’s great!” Mina sounded genuinely happy for her, and it squeezed and pulled on Dahyun’s heart. Mina leaned over and laid her head on Dahyun’s shoulder.

“I’m leaving.”

A pause. 

“What?”

“It’s in Busan and I leave tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow? What?” Mina pulled back to look at Dahyun, “What do you- No.”

“I need to do this. For me.”

“Dahyun, what about work here? Joohyun likes you-”

“This is a better position, and I’ll be getting paid more. I’d be stupid not to take it.”

“So you’re just going to go?” This was going exactly as well as Dahyun thought it would. 

Throughout their entire relationship, Mina was always sensitive to stuff like this, being left behind. Subconsciously Dahyun figured it went back to her birth parents, being left behind like that would create issues in any kid, knowing that people can just leave you and never look back. Then losing her parents as suddenly as she did, being whisked away across the sea to some strange place, Mina just never wanted to be left behind. She figured that’s why Mina stayed with her as long as she did, too afraid to let go. Whether Mina was aware of that, Dahyun had no idea. 

One of them had to leave, and Dahyun was the one willing to make that sacrifice, adding herself onto the list that Myoui Mina had loved and lost. 

She turned her head to look at Mina, the latter staring at her confusion and a bit of desperation written in her eyes, “Kiss me.”

“Mina…” Dahyun had only ever her sound so sure a few other times in her life, it scared her. 

“Please.” She leaned in, Dahyun’s hot breath tickling her lips. She paused and closed her eyes. Dahyun could’ve stopped and pulled her head away, could’ve said no. But she didn’t. She leaned in, capturing Mina’s lips in her own, a hand coming up to grab the back of Mina’s head. She wasn’t quite sure how but in seconds Mina was straddling her lap arms loosely wrapped around her neck, not daring to break away. Dahyun could relate to that, her fingers grasping the hair threaded between them desperately. 

Cold fingers pulled at the hem of Dahyun’s shirt, breaking their kiss for just a second to pull it over her head followed by Mina’s own tossed somewhere random in the room. Dahyun laid open mouth kisses down Mina’s jaw, to her neck drawing a shaky breath from the latter. Her bra was tossed somewhere as well, followed by her pants and Dahyun’s. Dahyun pushed Mina back, propping herself up over the girl on her forearms before trailing open mouth kisses down the woman’s stomach, to the waistband of her panties looking back up. Mina nodded, digging a finger through her hair as Dahyun dragged them down. The whine that was dragged out of Mina when Dahyun gave a light lick, avoiding exactly where Mina needed her most was almost sinful. Mina pulled lightly, urging for more, and Dahyun obliged. 

They took their time, dragging it out as long as they could, savoring every gasp, every whine. Dahyun thought Mina looked absolutely stunning like this, gripping onto the sheets, mouth parted slightly, lips swollen, face and chest flushed with exertion. She tried to cherish this. Mina seemed like she was trying too, holding onto Dahyun as if she let go just a bit she would slip away. When Mina tipped over the edge, body taught, she couldn’t help it, “I love you.”

Still, Mina woke up to a cold and empty bed. The suitcase next to the door was gone, and so was Dahyun.


	23. Chapter 23

THREE YEARS LATER

“Ms.Kim?”

Dahyun tore her attention away from the paperwork spread out across her desk, looking up at her secretary, Hyunjin, standing in the doorway. The woman was holding a file between her arms, holding it to her chest as she stood waiting for Dahyun’s attention. “Yeah?”

“It’s almost three, you should leave now if you want to catch your train home.” The secretary advised, letting out a light chuckle as Dahyun took a panicked look over to the small clock resting on her glass. Her office was modern, pristine, and entirely too cold for Dahyun’s liking. A large glass desk with silver nick nacks resting on top, black shelves holding black boxes of files and papers, and floor to ceiling windows overlooking the entirety of Busan giving the lawyer a great view from her place on the 35th floor. Dahyun haphazardly tried to pile together her paperwork, grabbing her coat from where it rested on the back of her chair and shrugged it on. 

“Can you just-”

“Forward the file to Mr.Lee? Yup, now go.” Hyujin handed over Dahyun’s briefcase and a small wrapped present that Dahyun had left lying on a chair earlier in the day, the older accepting it with a grateful smile. 

Offering her a small bow, she excused herself, slipping from her office into the mail bullpen of the operation. Newly hired lawyers worked in small cubbies, all too eager to please and work. Dahyun forlornly wishes for those days once again. It only takes her fifteen minutes to get to the station, and another ten to get in her seat, the train taking off only five minutes after. 

Two hours. That’s all it would take before she was back in Seoul for the first time since she left. Would the city still be the same? Probably not, everything always moved so fast and she could never keep up no matter how hard she tried. Tzuyu and Chaeyoung came down one weekend a month and slept over her house, filling her in on what she was missing up north. It helped but still left her feeling hollow and empty when they left. The move to Busan had probably been the best decision Dahyun had ever made, quickly running the biggest firm in the city, and that was nice and all, but sometimes she wonders what life could’ve been like if she had stayed. 

One could imagine the shock Dahyun felt when she got a text from Sana two weeks prior, asking if she wanted to spend Christmas eve at their place. A new tradition that was formed without her, from what she heard from Tzuyu, Jihyo had forced them all to get along and start spending holidays together again. She guessed it had worked because Dahyun hadn’t heard anything bad about the Japanese trio in a while. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu were always cautious of bringing them up, she understood why- afraid that it would trigger her and they would be two hours away if she were to relapse. She never told them about the texts and voicemails Mina had left her, begging for her to come back and cursing her for leaving like she did. They stopped nearly two years ago, but sometimes when Dahyun was alone in her apartment that was too big for just her she would listen to them before swiping through tinder for some random girl to hook up with. 

She got off the train, walking down the platform and out of the station. It was cold, frost forming whenever she took a breath, snowflakes threatening to start falling from the sky. She walked down familiar streets, first passing 3mix’s coffee shop, it looked exactly the same. The slight chip in the paint outside had never been fixed, along with the crushed guardrail in one of the parking spaces. Next was Sana and Momo’s store, it had changed a lot. For starters, the sign outside had changed, being replaced with a new blue and white one that must’ve been no more than a year old. They even had a new blinking neon light in the window, flashing OPEN to the rest of the world. Peaking in as she passed by, a teen stood behind the counter meaning that they must’ve been able to hire at least one new part-timer. Dahyun wondered if her covering Mina’s medical had been a factor all these changes, the women being able to invest in their business instead of trying to minimize every cost to scrape enough money together to pay their bills. 

The couple hadn’t moved in the past three years as well, the gate open and inviting as Dahyun made her way to the familiar house. The lights were on, and the door was cracked open, she could hear loud talking and music playing from outside. She let herself in, taking her shoes off at the door taking in the sight. Sana had finally gotten those new couches she wanted for years, the dark grey of them matching nicely with the light blue she and Momo had painted on the walls of the living room. Joohyun and Seulgi were sitting on the couch, Seulgi bouncing a now six-year-old Yeri on her lap as Joohyun looked over affectionately. Chaeyound and Tzuyu were not far away, playing with Sooyoung. There were a few other people there that Dahyun didn’t recognize, probably coworkers or people that came into their lives while Dahyun was gone. 

A hand wrapped around her shoulder, “You know for a minute I thought you weren’t going to show.”

She turned to see Sana smiling at her, holding out a glass of what Dahyun presumed to be eggnog. She looked younger, happier, it made Dahyun smile as well when she accepted the drink. Her hair was now an ash brown, cut shoulder length, appropriate form her age and suited her perfectly. “I almost missed my train, to be honest.”

“The firm busy?”

“When is it not?”

“Fair,” Sana unwrapped her arm from around her and took a sip of her own drink. “Momo was just asking about you, I don’t know where she went.”

As if on cue, arms wrapped around Sana’s midsection, Momo resting her chin on Sana’s shoulder. She also looked better too, her forhead out and about for the first time since Dahyun had met her, smiling at Dahyun, “Hey.”

“Hey.”

Momo whispered something in Sana’s ear, something that Dahyun was sure she didn’t want to know judging from the pink glow that spread across Sana’s features and her forced out, “Food is in the kitchen, help yourself. Got to go.”

The older dragged Sana off, leaving Dahyun to wander off on her own once again. Momo probably made the food for tonight, and Momo’s food always had a spot in Dahyun’s heart. Pair that with how she hadn’t eaten anything the entire day, Dahyun was more than ready to get her grub on to whatever array of food Sana had prepared. She made her way to the kitchen, stopping when she heard giggling coming from inside. 

“Yeonnie…” A whine that was so unmistakably Mina. Dahyun felt her heart race, she looked in to see Mina sat on the counter, Nayeon standing between her legs. Mina had her arms wrapped around Nayeon’s shoulder, staring lovingly down at her, a bit of whipped cream on her nose from where Nayeon had placed off her own finger. 

“Hmm?” Nayeon hummed, taking a bite of her pie smirking when Mina pouted.

“Can I have a bite, please?”

“All you had to do was ask.” She lifted the spoon up to Mina’s mouth, which the woman accepted. They looked happy, in love, everything Dahyun could have wanted. Mina’s eyes drifted up and locked with hers, wide and shocked. (Sana must’ve not told her she was coming.)

“Dahyun?”

“Don’t mind me, I just wanted some food.” She waved them off, grabbing a plate and started to load up some of the food available. She didn’t expect a tight hug as soon as she turned around, Mina gripping into her shirt. 

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Dahyun turned around and smiled, holding up her plate, “I’m going to eat now.”

She knew Mina knew that was just an excuse, that in reality, it made her sick to her stomach to see the couple. But Mina didn’t say anything, letting Dahyun walk away. 

Later that night Dahyun placed her small present under the tree, knowing she would be gone by the time it was opened. Inside was the small silver band, the very one that Mina had stormed into her room searching for all those years ago. She knew it would be open with everyone in Pajamas, Mina snuggled into Nayeon’s side as they opened presents. It wasn’t spiteful, just finally releasing the last piece that Dahyun had clung to. Letting go.

She sat on the couch and watched, Sana and Momo loudly singing to the Christmas carols, Tzuyu and Chaeyoung play with the kids, Mina almost cry later in the night when Nayeon gifted her a small golden dashaund puppy saying that Kookeu needed a friend. She watched, yet kept her distance.

Somethings were better when you didn’t touch them. 

Still, Dahyun never knew that Mina still waited for her to call, even after all this time. Sometimes in the end there was only one person worth remembering, only you.


End file.
